Rest Easy And Sleep Away Your Misery

Happiness.

No matter which way you spin it I am happy.

Your hateful words, sarcasm and put downs will do nothing to change that.

My world was changed on December 28th and I won't ever forget that date.

It was when everything I had wanted for my life for an entire year finally came true.

I had the opportunity to stay home with my two beautiful girls. 

I finally feel like my life is falling into place.

I have been miserable for so long that it is nice to feel something other than anger. 

I was presented this opportunity in ways not many could fashion.

Maybe it wasn't the best way to approach it either, but in my mind it had to be done. 

If I ever wanted life to go MY way I had to take it by the horns and spin it the way I wanted too.

I wasn't scared to break the rules or any of that other mess. It is MY life not anyone else's. 

Not many of you know all that was going on in my life at the time, some of you do. 

At that point in time all that mattered were those beautiful faces. 

That was it.

End of story.

As a mother you have to put your children first, before anything.

After all who is going to look after them if their mother doesn't?

No matter which way you slice it those girls are my duty to care for. 

And I am gonna do whatever it takes to properly care for them.

Do I think putting them in poorly run daycare centers was the best choice for my girls?

I knew it wasn't.

Even if I did love most of the teachers, I was not okay with the fact that my kids didn't come first.

And why should they, they are in a class of 12-18 other students?

Life doesn't always have to be a war.

It is what you make of it. 

Your misery isn't going to get my company, because I am finally at the point where I am better than that. 

I have come along way since I was that miserable, cutting, hating the world sixteen year old.

I will never forget my past, but I can change my future. 

I no longer wish the worst on my enemies, but I wish them wealth and peace. 

I no longer loathe authority in ways I once did. 

I no longer struggle to shut my eyes for fear of the darkness.

My past is not me. 

It will forever be a part of me, yes, but it will no longer control me.

I have freed myself of those chains and began to make a link to where I want to be in life.

I finally have goals and aspirations for myself.

It took a lot for me to find these words. 

Words are hard to come by for some.

I may not be the smartest, prettiest, funniest person, but I do have feelings. 

Whether you want them to be crushed or not is not up to me that I will leave for you to decide.

I obviously bare an impact on people I never thought I would once I was gone.

The insignificant people in life are always the ones that squawk the loudest. 

I have learned through the many trials I have gone through that some things aren't worth fighting for. 

I am willing to let go of all the hate in my heart. 

As my oldest is so close to entering the real world (she starts Kindergarten in the fall).

I find myself frantically trying to make the world make sense.

It just doesn't work that way. 

I am what I am and that is all I can give.

Whether you like me or hate me you have no say over what happens in my life.

I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, a leader, a daughter, an aunt, a perfectionist, a writer and so much more.

Laughter is great medicine. 

And if I have given you  nothing other than laughter over the things I write, or say, or feel then at least I have given you that joy. 

I hope in time you all find peace and happiness within yourselves.

Whether you are for me or against me.

You obviously cared enough about me to read this post.

Until next time...