I Wear My Heart On My Sleeve

The bathroom door doesn't close all the way. And the tile is too cold for bare feet.
I turn on the shower. Hot water as usual. And begin to brush my teeth.
Door opens and here come little fingers and tiny toes.
Annoyed "Choose to stay in or go out...because once I get in the shower you aren't leaving or coming back in."

A mother never showers alone, eats alone, uses the bathroom alone, sleeps alone.
A mothers duty never ends.
It's a special bond.
An unbreakable bond mother and child.

I grit my teeth as I want just a moment of silence. No screeching to break my train of thought.
No hair pulling, name calling, fighting. Oh the fighting.
All I want to hear is the water in my ears. What am I saying? That's IMPOSSIBLE when you have a preschooler and toddler in the house.
I close my eyes and think of my dream house. Praying silently for my dream to come true.

When I open my eyes I am still in the same place and I have a little 19 month old staring up at me with those puppy dog brown eyes.
My life will never be the same until they grow out of this "I want mommy" all the time stage.
I crave for them to grow some independence then I cry silently when they no longer need me.
It's a mothers nightmare.

I raise my kids the way I see fit.
Many disagree and that's okay.
We weren't made to be the same person.
I want my girls to know they can be what they desire and have the confidence to go for it.

I'm their mother and my duty in this life is to raise them to be the best they can be.
So when I am at my worst they are too.
I vow to not let the silly things get in the way of teaching them to be somebody.
They are great kids. They really are.

As Hamilton County approaches Back to School for second semester. I sit and think of all the things I have to do to prepare my oldest for Kindergarten.
It's not far off. Even though it pains me in every way to say it.
Websites, checklists, and workbooks all tell me what I need to be doing.
Her smile. The way about her tells me she is going to be alright.
Instead of stressing about school and preparing her for the next step I am just going to enjoy her.
She will never be four years old again. There's time for growing up.

So as I finish  my shower (and this blog) I think I am going to go enjoy the simple pleasures of my life. My girls.
They are what inspire me to want to better my life.
Every. Single. Thing. About. Them.

This is just life from one mother's point of view.