A Positive Me

This day was spent with my good friend from high school, Megan.
It's so hard to think in a few short months she will be leaving and never coming back here.
I find it quite common to be best friends with someone and they up and go.
It has happened A LOT in my life. Lucky for me I've done it both ways, the hard and the good I plan on making this the best! We already have visits in order (and already discussed the issue of money as to never be put in a situation we were in before).

Anyone who knows Megan knows she is notoriously late! (We love you for it Megan!)
As we waited around for her to come get us Kylie Jade was all "is she here yet? when is Meggy coming?" It was pitiful she was staring out the window for close to 30 mins.
Not terribly long and we were on our way.
First stop play place in the mall.

Singing Taylor Swift 

Showing me it has eyes!

Obviously all the kids had fun (even baby Weston!)

Next up was lunch because if you know ANYTHING about my kids it is that they never, ever, EVER skip a meal. EVER! 

So Megan got us Chickfila and I hung out with the trio while she waited. 

The girls were eating up Weston.

Kylie Jade said "this is what it would be like if I had a baby brother!" Whoa slow down Chick! 

Madilyn comforting Weston as we waited for food

We shopped a bit then headed to Carters and Toysrus. 

I do have to brag a bit on those 3 for no naps they did amazing.

Of course they got a little sleepy and somewhat whiny, but for the most part they were amazing.

Can it be like this everyday?

We still had time leftover so we drove around. 

Baby Weston was out in no time.

My girls you ask? Puhlease they sleep for no one! 

At least Weston got in a 30 before the party...

The kiddos squished in the car! Hand holding at its finest.

Next up was the birthday party. And oh what a hit it was.

Kylie Jade warmed up to Mr. Chris in no time. She was crushing, crushing, crushing. Her little face even turned red when Megan (jokingly) questioned her about it.

Boy. I am in some trouble! 

It was time to play and the kids were off.

I have to brag on my baby for a minute.

She did AWESOME! Whenever they did group time she would sit against the wall and follow directions.

She was touching her toes when instructed, answering simple questions, and she played the whole time without once checking to see where I was. 

She was amazing! I loved to see her so into something...I guess her and Kylie Jade share a passion for gymnastics...only 5 more months and she will be out there doing her thing! 

High bar

Tunnel crawling

Flip 

My monkey child 

Raising her hand and answering "Me!" When the group was asked if they liked going to the beach!

Baby Weston enjoyed his time also

Can't you tell she was having a blast?

Chasing the Instructor

She was soooo flirting with him! LOL

Touching her toes as instructed 

Dancing like a boss

Waiting in line! 

Waiting on the wall for instructions 

Waiting on pizza and cake! 

Obviously I took a ton more photos but those were the gist of what they did. 

Anyway they had fun and it wore them out! Which is always a plus! 

However Madilyn only was out for 20 mins after we got home. It was okay didn't want her sleeping too late so she'd go to bed on time (which she did) 

After all was said and done today was a pretty awesome day.

I have never ever been a stay at home mom before.

Until recently the idea wasn't even appealing (and by recently I mean the past year).

To be honest working dead end job after dead end job was not fulfulling. 

Being here, with the things I created, doing the things I love with them is the most fulfilled I have been in along time. 

Anyone who has recently seen me can tell the difference. 

I am happy. 

I even have been treating myself better (lost 6lbs since not working).

And even though I know how strenuous it can be (money wise) it is COMPLETELY worth it.

In the years to come my kids are what matters, not anyone else's. 

I am their mother and I shape who they are and what they will become.

What does it say for me if they are at a daycare center 9/10 hours a day?

When I did work the time I had with them was scarce. 

Every time I dropped my girls off to different faces and a different group of kids (the turn over rate in daycare is RIDICULOUS especially the one I just came from!) 

I would feel a piece of my heart fading. 

Where I had to work with other children on how to trace and write their names.

My own were missing out. 

I will NEVER get those moments back with them.

Every first crawl I missed, every tear I wasn't there to wipe.

At the end of the day I know we (my husband and I) made the right decision for me not to find another "job."

Because they were just that "jobs". I was there to get a paycheck nothing more. 

I loved each kid I took care of, but it is not even to slightly be compared to what I feel for my own.

I wasn't invested anymore. And that's not okay when you do what I did. 

I was tired of kissing parents butts, I was tired of correcting the behavior I would never allow in my home, I was tired of watching these kids feel unloved because half of them were there more than 10 hrs a day.

I was tired. These were not mine. Every time I heard mine crying it was like a dagger to my heart.

I am cherishing the time with my girls, no matter how much they drive me up the wall. 

I look back at my past life (even though recent it isn't my life anymore).

I will never take them for granted.

I am their mother. No one else. 

I know in my heart this is where I am supposed to be.

With them. 

No one will love them like I do.

Because no one else is their mother. Only me.