'Opened my Bible for the first time in forever and it was refreshing! I cannot believe I have gone this long without just digesting His word. I am starting at the beginning and I am almost in the book of Exodus because I couldn't put it down. I read for around 2 hours and I was thirsting for more.
The Lord sure works in mysterious ways. I have been feeling that 'push' to dive into His word for the last month or so. I have found many excuses of a too busy schedule, or sleepiness, or, well, pretty much any thing else.
I went to church about a month ago and the series was "Bod for God" and our pastor just kept drilling it in that being too busy is NOT an excuse to give our Lord the time He deserves. It struck me and I have felt guilty every day since.
It was just this nagging in my heart "open His word" and I kept pushing it back. More excuses "I will be bored." "The kids need me" "Another birthday party." I avoided church pretty much after that I didn't want to be told I was wrong. I hate that. I hate when other people are right.
A week or so after the "Bod for God" talk Kylie was talking about school and was very enthusiastic about spring break because after spring break they would be talking about space and going on a field trip to the challenger. As she was babbling on I asked "so, next year, would you like to home school?" And she scrunched up her nose and said "no" when I asked why and gave her incentives to home schooling (jokingly I could never put the time needed into it) she said "um where would I learn about Jesus?" I responded with home and church. "But we don't even own a Bible!" And there is was. Our Bible's sit on our shelves and my daughter, going to a Christian school, doesn't even remember that we had one. Suddenly I felt conflicted, angry and saddened that I have not put my all into this Christianity thing.
Today I was tempted to sleep in. I have been tired from being on the go so much. Through a misunderstanding this morning John ended up getting a ride to work. I slept until 8:30 when Kylie burst through the door and said "mom get up I want to go to church!" Sleepily I got up and figured out John had left the car we got ready and went on our way. As I dropped the girls off and told them "have fun!" I headed into church not even knowing what was about to happen.
As Pastor Tony lead a sermon it was all on facts proving the Bible is real. Then Matthew 5:18 popped out.
" For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."
Showing how archaeologist have over 25,000 website proving the Gospel has not been altered in any way. Hearing the story about the old testament being preserved in glass jars in a temple and being discovered and when they went to see if anything had been altered! It hadn't except for a few spelling differences! That's it. After men who hated the bible tried to prove it was just a story and went on their own and discovered everything Luke talks about is right! After hearing that eye witnesses wrote down the accounts of Jesus and everything I believe I finally felt a breath of fresh air. After doubting that the Bible could be preserved and it was there, sitting on my book shelf, the whole time. Matthew 5:18. And I believe I do believe.
After leaving Church today I knew what I had to do as the girls played outside and watched a movie I opened His word. Feeling conflicted knowing I might get bored, I powered through. I was so into it I didn't even hear the end credits roll on the girls movie after it was over. I was intensely studying, writing, copying and making notes.
When Kylie came in and saw me reading the Bible she asked me to read to her! She was so astonished, and excited and got so giggly. I can't believe this treasure has been here this whole time! How in the world have I been living?
I feel so empowered! I feel in control. How can I be a follower if I don't even know what He is asking of me?
I am God's child I need to know what my father is saying to me!
From here on out I am vowing to read His word every day!
