A Few Things I Have Learned...

A Few Things I Have Learned About Having A 5 Year Old:

1. They have an opinion on EVERYTHING!
2. They will lose their teeth much sooner than you are ready for.
3. Five year olds are ALWAYS talking about age if you are younger than five they will look at you in disgust and if you are older than five (yes this includes 5 1/2) they will whine and complain and talk about how UNFAIR it is that they aren't older.
4. If they give you the death stare you better stop embarrassing them and HIDE because what comes after the stare is ten times worse.
5. The attitude they are giving you? Yea expect a ton more sass and spunk to go along with that.
6. You had a say in what they wore? Yeah that is going to stop IMMEDIATELY.
7. Clothes for comfort are out clothes for style are in.
8. If you forget to pack a snack for school you will never hear the end of it. EVER.
9. Do not, I repeat, do NOT talk down to your child...they will blow your mind away with their sarcasm.
10. Kindergarten is a big deal you better act like it.
11. Your child will get a kick out of you crying, but will immediately flip out on you if you cry in front of their friends.
12. Please don't hover, it's not cool.
13. Allow your child to make their own mistakes regarding school work or dressing mishaps it will make for a good learning experience and if not, hey, at least you got some goofy pictures you can laugh about later.
14. If you come to visit for lunch, you better bring a treat otherwise you will be ignored. The entire time.
15. Snuggles are few and far between take them as you get them. Stop doing laundry, put down the phone, let the water boil a little longer and give your kid a dang cuddle already.
16. If your kid asks for you to play with them and you pretend you don't hear them, remember they can whine.
17. If you mention their birthday you better be prepared to talk birthday plans. A birthday is NEVER too far away.
18. If you say one thing but mean something else be prepared to be ridiculed because your five year old is witty now.
19. If you embarrass them in front of their friends, just remember she will tell the teacher the things you do not want told. Stop and think before you speak.
20. When your child has finally laid down for their beauty rest stop and look at her sweet toes peeking out from under the blanket, look adoringly at her angelic face and try and forget that was the face that was screaming bloody murder this morning because her hair is all wrong, sticking her tongue out because you didn't allow her to pick the movie because it was his sisters turn, or rolling her eyes because she is all sass. Just remember she is still your little girl and no matter how much she tries to dodge your kisses, or smarts off she is still everything you had hoped she'd be. Nothing less.

A Day In The Life

Well the first full week of school has proven to be somewhat difficult. Between exhaustive tantrums at the end of the school day, parent night at the elementary school, numerous emails to Kylie's teacher, and figuring out the best schedule for our family I am feeling the overwhelming stress many people talk about. Kindergarten has been a big adjustment on our family. I am finding myself pretty exhausted at the end of the day.

I am so happy we have found a great school where Kylie feels safe, valued and that her opinion matters. Though our financial situation doesn't always warrant for the newest, the best or the fanciest we are able to provide Kylie Jade the best start to her school career as we possibly can. School is too big of an issue to play around with, experiment with, and just hope that the outcome isn't failure. I fully believe we have made the best choice and given any other option this would be the choice I would choose every time.

As Kylie grows, learns and develops in a real school setting I am seeing her little personality blossom. She has new friendships, many teachers, and a whole world away from me that I won't ever really be a part of. As much as I feel a little weepy over the years that are now just memories I can't help but be so excited for my daughters new found independence. Even though we've had a few mishaps already in Kindergarten they will only be distant memories, just like her diaper, paci and bottle feeding years, in just a blink of the eye.

6 am comes far too early and with the crazy amount of rain we had it makes it ten times more difficult to get out of bed, shower and start breakfast before the girls wake up. As they slowly and dreadfully wake up I begin preparations for the start of the school day. I take it one day at a time, one crazy exhausted moment at a time, one headache at a time. I know this too shall pass and that when the time comes for her to move onto the middle school age I will be thinking back on this as one of the simpler times.

So no matter how hard it is to wake up with the massive headaches that are soon to follow, no matter how annoying it is to awaken sleeping children and get them both ready for the day ahead I am going to enjoy and savor every last minute of it because anyone with children knows that the time goes way too fast.

And no matter how many times I have to wake one sleepy eye at a time I can keep holding onto the hope that, no matter how exhausted I am, the weekend is only a few days away!

A Mommy Confession

The days seem to be getting shorter or perhaps it's that, now, I dread Mondays more than before.

The routine of making lunches and snacks, making sure back packs are prepared, clothes laid out for the AM so we have less fighting is making my head spin. 

Sundays are cut short with excitement/dread of the next day ahead. 

I force a smile on my face and begin my monotonous duties as a mommy. 

As they are growing I am realizing more and more that me, Maria, is slowly fading into chores, kissing boo boos, cleaning, and driving the kids to school and activities. 

Myself as a person is fading away and I hate that I spend my nights rather bored and exhausted from the previous days activities. 

I love my kids with EVERYTHING in me, but they aren't me. 

They will grow and move on with their lives and what will I be left with?

I find myself itching to just be me again, but sometimes life is just easier being lost in the kids worlds. 

I used to have an identity now I am just Kylie or Madilyn's mommy. 

I flinch at the very idea of adding MORE activities into our already HECTIC schedule. 

My passions are fading, my eagerness to do anything other than kid duties have drifted and I'm left empty and surrounded by the things that make me a mother. 

As summer is rolling quickly into fall I have made a decision to slowly do ONE thing a day that I enjoy doing for the sake of my sanity. 

Going out one on one with friends, taking walks (which the kids can do with me!), searching and making new recipes that are healthy and mostly organic, finding new books to read, date nights with MY husband and getting back in my work out routine. 

These things are vital for my sanity and I really want to make more time for me. 

My mommy confession may seem silly to some and others of you will be shaking your head vigorously knowing, all along, that I have been smothered in motherhood duties. 

If you know me you know, the minute I knew I was carrying them, I was their mother and nothing else mattered. 

If I can do this one thing for me, I do believe I will be a better mommy for it.

And as much as I love being known as Kylie and Madilyn's mommy. 

I also want to be remembered and known as me. 

The Power of Love From A Mother

Today was a day of firsts.

First time Kylie Jade starts Kindergarten.

Her first time ever going to real school. 

Her first time walking down the hallway to go to school for the first time.

Her first smiles and giggles with her friends.

First time eating her home brought lunch in the cafeteria. 

Her first time feeling that small pain when you miss your mommy.

Her first time meeting her classmates.

My first time watching her go and realizing this is where she is gonna be most of her life.

The first time seeing her wave her hand and sending her off away from me the majority of the day. 

The first time feeling uncomfortable and worried that she would get lost or cry for me. 

My first time really starting to let go of her and be her own person. 

I am so proud to call CCS her home away from home, but I have been wondering if it gets any easier?

Why does parenting have to be full of so many bitter sweet moments?

Why do I have to let go of my little girl?

Why can't she just be that bouncy toddler just one last time?

As I gathered her in my arms at pick up and she was all smiles I know this is right.

It doesn't get easier, so I hear, so I am trying my hardest to cherish this moment. 

The sparkle in her eye, the wanting me to come around, the "I miss yous" and "I love yous." 

Pretty soon they will be few and far between.

Right now I hold her little hand and before long her hands will be holding her steering wheel.

Not long from now her life will be sleepovers, secrets and boys.

I will be on the outside looking in during those years.

Only when she becomes a mother will she understand exactly how I feel for her and her sister.

My whole heart is theirs. 

Every breathe, every tear, every beat of my heart is for them. 

It's so hard for me to let go. 

Watching her wave bye to me I really felt like I lost, just a little bit more of, my very best friend.

School Days

Madilyn started her first day of daycare (and a new one at that) since she was 19months old.
Fear, nervousness, and overall worry sickened me as the days ticked closer to her inevitable scream fest that I just KNEW would make the teachers cringe when she walked through the doors in the morning.
As we toured, and had play days and generally began our attempts at talking up daycare and telling her about her friends and the fun things she would be doing there (painting, playing with new toys, playground outside, etc) she still seemed against the idea of daycare.
On Wednesday (July 31st) we got ready to head out the door to daycare and she had the biggest smile slapped on her face.

My stomach screamed, gurgled, twisted and turned as we walked into the daycare center and I began that slow, dreadful walk to her classroom.
I opened the door, little eyes staring at Madilyn and I, and my stomach did a double flip.
Madilyn walked right in, found a red chair and sat right down.
The teachers were talking to us and fed her breakfast, she ate happily and got up to play.
I knew just as soon as I told her I was leaving she would go in full on tantrum mode.

"Madilyn I am leaving!" I said, a tad too nervously.
"Bye!" She was grinning ear to ear as a little girl handed her a toy monkey.
WHAT?! Did MY Child just tell me bye without a tear, without a tantrum, without ANYTHING?
Who was this kid and where did Madilyn run off too?

I walked out, still nervous, and decided to watch her from the window.
She was FINE.
As I apprehensively drove to work that morning so many thoughts were racing in my mind.
I didn't want her to cry, right? Or did I secretly wish she would throw herself on the floor, screaming bloody murder so I could have something to prove about what kind of awesome parent I am that my child didn't even want to leave me!

I knew, deep down, that I was relieved the tantrum throwing didn't commence.
Her teacher kept me updated and let me know how wonderful she did.
No tears all day and shocker, she peed on the potty TWICE.
As I picked her crazy self up, and got in the car, I saw the smile plastered on her face and was so happy that she loved daycare.

As the days have rolled on she has since been 3 times and has been eager to go.
I am lucky that I have such social, outgoing, wonderful kids.
I feel blessed to have found the right daycare center and an awesome teacher that has been smothering her with love.
Madilyn deserves it!

As August is here I am realizing how close to Kindergarten it is getting.
We bought Kylie Jade's school supplies last week and she was SO EXCITED to be getting new things that were just hers.
As she excitedly picked out her items for school I felt proud and sad all at the same time.
How does it seem like one day she is a roly poly two year old and the next she is picking out supplies for Kindergarten?

I am such a wuss when it comes to my kids getting another year older, another classroom higher, and just getting bigger before I've even had a chance to fully adjust to their age.
As the school supplies and clothes rang up I could feel a slight panic as I realized school is less than 2 weeks away.
This is the end of picking her up early just because I want too, skipping days just because we can, and not having to worry about homework, or school closings, etc.
She is growing up on me and I am so not ready for it.

August 9th we will be heading out to Kylie's school to drop off her supplies
, meet her teacher (again!), see a few classmates, and talk in the gym with a few heads of the schools etc.
August 14th is her first OFFICIAL day of school and I feel slightly panicked as I cross off yet another day of August.
I need to face the fact that my girls are growing, Kylie Jade is entering out of preschool age and going full speed to elementary age and Madilyn is creeping up on the end of her toddler years into the preschool years.
I feel nostalgic as I think back on Madilyn's birth and Kylie's infant years, they are memories now, but will always be apart of me.

No matter what I am a mom.
They are my girls.
I will do anything for them no matter what.
And if you mess with them, well momma bear is fully ready to attack at any moment!! =)


Here are a few pics from the last month:

 

Madilyn at Sweet Frog on our day date

 

She got a Doc toy because she is a spoiled butt 

Kylie Jade's school outfit

 Madilyn Kate about to head to gymnastics

Madilyn's hook and cubby

Madilyn Kate eating breakfast on her first day of daycare

Heading to her first day of daycare

 Madilyn got a fudgecicle at daycare

 At a wedding

 Leaving daycare 

Kindergarten SChool Supplies

 

 Kylie got 12 ribbons she needs 15 to move on so proud of her!

First day of daycare

 

 Eating at chickfila they did face painting too 

 Daycare craft 

She wanted to be a tiger!

 

 Got their lunches!

Playground at daycare

 

 Sweet girl Kylie Jade took this pic

 Raining!

School supplies

 

Kylie Jade at cheer camp!

 

Friends!

 

Madilyn Kate eating breakfast at daycare!