The Year Is Escaping Me

It is so weird to be in this moment. Madilyn is three years old. I remember when she was born and Kylie Jade was just turning three. I remember saying "when Madilyn is Kylie's age Kylie will be 6!" And here we are. The first official day of summer and I am sitting here in amazement watching my girls.
Just as I typed that Madilyn started shaking her tail shouting "shaking my butt!" Never a dull moment here.

Madilyn and I have been working so hard on tracing and spelling her name. She has done wonderfully and knows how to spell her name now. I finally signed her up for her new preschool (which she will start in September) and of course Kylie Jade is gearing up for the big first grade.

I have been checking CCS's website every few days to see if any new information is posted. We have her supply list for first grade and have already finished all the books off her suggested summer reading list...now just awaiting the teacher placement.

This year we found out CCS is opening up a prek, which is something John and I have been hoping for since Kylie Jade did her assessment so long ago at CCS. I am very excited because I know Madilyn will flourish there (if she gets accepted) and I definitely think Madilyn may need one year of practice before she starts Kindergarten. As much as we loved Kidspark and I think I will love First Baptist I know Madilyn is going to need that full time full day Prek before she gets into the swing of Kindergarten.

I cannot believe June is almost over, and our vacation to Hilton Head is nearing. I cannot tell you how excited I am for Madilyn to see the beach (she went one time when she was 3 months old so this will be awesome). Kylie Jade is so ready for the beach she is constantly talking about it and they are already making plans to make drip castles, sand castles, find seashells, and see a crab. I know John is excited to fly a kite and I am just ready to relax and take a week off work and just soak up the family time.

This summer has been jam packed with summer camps, work, swimming, and friends. I gotta say this has been an amazing summer and I can't wait to see what July holds for us.

Me

I Get angry.

I Go crazy.

I fight and I push. 

I know my place and yet I push boundaries. 

I always fight authority. 

I don't care what you look like.

I don't care how you feel. 

I have a shield. 

I put on the armor and I stand my own ground. 

I couldn't care less what you think of me. 

Or your authority. 

I've always slid on through. 

I've passed on by without a glance. 

I am aggressive. 

I get in trouble. 

I don't tolerate any bullshit. 

Skate on by. 

Forgotten your existence.  

I am here. 

I breathe. 

I fade. 

Here I am and here I shall remain. 

Not broken. 

Not a shell. 

Not weak.

Even though I'm worn. 

I will continue to fight.

I'm tough. 

I'm bull headed.

I'm a good friend. 

I fall. 

But I always get up. 

I don't leech.

I don't attach. 

I'm free.

Forget your existence.

I've already forgotten. 

I'm a hot head.

Never even tempered. 

Yet I am here. 

I won't go.

I won't break.

Because of all the things I am. 

I am STRONG. 

A Part Of Our Story

Today I realized why I do not stay home, the bickering, the constant work load of keeping this impossible dirty house spotless is a daunting task. I sat with the girls one on one and worked on handwriting and puzzles with Madilyn (colors and shapes) and let Kylie independently do her sight words, math and shapes work sheets that she begs to do from the minute she wakes up until I give into her incessant request and pull the damn work sheets down for her to complete. I stare at my daughter and wonder where in the hell she got her thirst for knowledge. I never much cared for school, or work, or school, or work...well I guess you get the picture. 

As she works as fast as lightening cutting, gluing and laughing hysterically at whatever joke she is telling herself, I find myself in disbelief. Is this six year old child really mine? I mean all mine? Like my spawn? Did I really create this child that loves MATH?! I mean math, the one thing I loathe more than ANYTHING in the ENTIRE world...yes including roaches. 

I often find myself staring at my Kylie as she is so different than me. She is flexible, can do back flips at age six, has the passion for gymnastics and is completely fearless. Her love of learning makes her seem like an alien to me and I find myself disgusted at her beauty. I mean, really, is it necessary that a six year old have abs? Whatever. 

As summer is rearing it's glorious head into our household I find that I care less and just take the day for what it is. I have deemed this past weekend as a chill weekend. We went swimming for hours and ate lunch later than usual and took showers in the middle of the day only to go back out and ride bikes, chase birds, and attempt one handed cartwheels. I feel so much pressure off my shoulders and I actually find myself enjoying just walking with them, or brushing their hair, or watching them try on every friggin outfit in their drawers...because we had no schedule. We had nowhere to go. We had no one to meet up with. We just had the day to enjoy. 

As much as I enjoyed our hands off weekend I do so look forward to this week back to reality. Back to work, and all the things that come with it. Friends, family, laughing, and competing. I can only handle alienating ourselves for so long before I just go bat shit cray cray. Back to normalcy. Ah, yes schedules! Bedtime so I can have me time with my man I love the fact that we have schedules I do not, for one second, regret the fact that we have our children on a wonderful sleep schedule. You people can have your kids staying up til one in the morning. I will be over here enjoying their 8 o'clock bedtime and husband snuggles ALL night long with no kids interrupting our adult conversation! Oh yea this is the LIFE!