Saturday, August 30, 2014

Excusing Poor Behavior

I'm tired of watching the children of this world suffer because these "educated" parents, aren't really educated. I get it, these spawns of yours are "your babies." But when did coddling become such a huge part of society?

I see it over and over and over again. Parents are not taking the time out of their lives to TEACH their children. They just label them "oh they just won't sit still for this long." "They are really shy." "My child just can't do this if I am not sitting and watching." and it goes on and on and on. Fact: Your child CAN do it without you. If you step back, encourage and allow your child to experience something on their own...yeah they can. You wanna know something else? They have been doing it for generations! I don't believe we have ever heard a time from way back when, when a parent had to be involved in EVERY aspect of their children's lives. Because, guess what, they had this little thing called LIVES. They don't have to hang on their kids every rhyme or reason because they had a life that did NOT revolve 100 percent around their little children.
I also see how parents labeling their children is having an effect on them. Obviously if you say Johnny is having trouble reading over and over and over again you know what? Johnny is going to believe that he is having trouble reading and instead of reading he will say something like this "I have trouble reading so I can't read that!" If you say this about your child "they really can't go to summer camp without me sitting there?" Wanna know what? They will believe they can't go to summer camp without you sitting there and observing. It is a disservice to your children. Stop crippling them, stop pretending they NEED you for every single thing and let them grow. You would be surprised by how much growing they can do without you and yet still have a very close relationship with you. Your child isn't YOU so stop pretending they are!

No kid has ever died from going to school, following directions, having their clipped moved from yellow to red, or (SHOCKER) missing recess. Parents, you need to stop micromanaging your child and trying to control every aspect of their lives. They WILL thank you for it later. Your child will survive, they will learn how to behave and they will gain the confidence in themselves that they will need to be successful in this world. I find it funny how quick parents, and hell even outsiders to the school community, are quick to blame school and teachers for their kids poor behavior and the fact they are unable to control themselves. Example: you have a two year old who misbehaves or "cannot sit" in a restaurant? Instead of teaching your child how to act you don't set any limits or expectations. Instead you hinder said child by placing the label "she can't sit still" and you allow her to scream, act like a heathen, and have no control over the situation because you've given every ounce of control to a tiny, screaming, power hungry 2 year old. The solution would be to set limits and expectations ahead of time you would be surprised what your child can do. My daughter, Madilyn, has acted crazy many, many times over the years in restaurants. Instead of excusing her poor behavior with the "she's two" excuse I removed her. I told her I expected better and until she could stop screaming/running around etc we would not be returning. Her behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and I EXPECT more from her. It took right around a month of doing this over and over again. You know what? She can behave appropriately in a restaurant now and I don't have any poor behavior to apologize for.

Parents, you have GOT to stop making excuses for their behavior and apologizing for it. You are doing your child a disservice in the long run. Stop being lazy, parenting takes a lot of work. Yes, sending my kids to bed at an early time is a lot of work. It means we have to do baths, stories, dinner, teeth brushing and whatever else in a timely manner to make sure they are well rested. My kids don't get the option of staying up late. It is non-negotiable. Because your child wants to play in the street are you going to let them? This idea of giving kids a choice over everything is insane. They don't like dinner? They can eat what is served or not eat at all. It isn't going to kill your kid to have a taste of a vegetable or fruit every now and again. Yes, natural consequences are good too, my child decides to stay awake and play well they are going to be very tired the next day. Stop being your child's friend and freaking parent them. I have a close relationship with my girls, but I don't let them run all over me. They know who is in charge and they are to follow my rules. This is why Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother is in the 10 commandments it does NOT say Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother When it is Convenient for You. Nor does it say Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother but First Question Everything They are Saying.

I guess all I'm trying to say is PARENT and quit coddling and making excuses for poor behavior "oh sorry Bobby was really upset because Kathy broke up with him, but it's okay that he stabbed her he just is having a hard time emotionally dealing with the stress of her leaving him! It's all Kathy's fault if she wouldn't have broken up with him she wouldn't have gotten stabbed..."






Sunday, August 24, 2014

I Hate School Uniforms!

Now that I have had both children in both environments. Non-uniformed and uniformed. I gotta say I HATE having my daughter wear school uniforms. Here are a few reasons why.

1. I don't like the price tag. She already has summer clothes, that are completely find for her to wear. I don't need the extra cost of buying outfits for 5 days a week. Not only do you have to buy an entire wardrobe you have to add in shoes, and sock, tights whatever!

2. I do not like how they have specific colors! It's bad enough they all have to look the same, but being limited to 3 different colors doesn't help anything!

3. Everyone looks the same! As a teacher when I am first learning kids names it is hard for me to tell them apart. I have several boys in particular that look alike and the wearing the same outfit does not help anything!

4. I don't understand the argument "uniforms are awesome I have no fight in the mornings on what they are going to wear!" Um, hello?! My daughter picks out her outfit the night before so there is no rushing in the morning, she is practicing making GOOD choices on what to wear, and in actuality there is almost NOTHING in her drawers that would be out of "dress code"so this argument is invalid.

5. I have also heard the argument "my child doesn't like itchy clothes etc" well I have heard of uniforms being uncomfortable and itchy. I LOATHED my dress code in public school. Those stupid polo shirts were so uncomfortable, itchy and they shrank almost every time you washed them!

6. I don't like being told what to spend my money on! I want to buy my kids clothes they WANT to wear (within reason) not something they have to wear just to look like everyone else they go to school with.

7. I hate being told how to dress them. What's wrong with an appropriate length t-shirt and jeans?

8. In the real world most jobs don't have a uniform. Dress code? Sure. Uniform? Very rare.

9. Uniforms for preschoolers just seems absurd to me! They are only little once! Let their free spirit out!

10. I like my girls to pick out what they want to wear to give them individuality, and proper decision making skills. They get to go to school knowing they are dressed like whatever fits their personality! As crazy, spunky, normal, or outlandish it may be!






A few things I have learned about myself and everything else with two in school.

This year has been a big one for our family. It is the first year both of my girls go to school full time. Madilyn had started off at a small daycare center going 3 days a week, but then I got the offer to allow her to come to work with me every day (bonus! I get to see my young child make friends, see what she is learning throughout the day and if she misses a day I can review at home!) She has fit right in, made new friends and has enjoyed all day school.

I have learned a few things about myself as the end of month one comes to a close.

1. I am ALWAYS on time or early! Not a single person in this house has been late for school or work! Which is awesome!

2. I am very nutty about education! I don't allow you to miss school because you are sleepy (to remedy this situation you should go to bed earlier. In reality when you have a job you have to be on time and can't miss just because you are sleepy!)

3. I am very different from most parents out there. God comes first, then your education. You only miss school if you are feverish sick, have a stomach bug or broke a bone. Dr. appointments, dentist visits and everything else can wait until AFTER school to be scheduled. (This does not count for Preschool or Pre-K this isn't considered 'school' until Kindergarten because absences don't count!)

4. I don't believe in "mental health days" that's what the weekend is for.

5. I find myself really believing children should attend some kind of program where mommy or daddy isn't the teacher all the time. Plug them into Sunday school away from you, school, an activity, a co-op. For goodness sakes you don't need to know EVERY detail of your child's life. Some things they want to experience on their own!

6. Parents these days SMOTHER their kids. I didn't realize how much it got on my nerves until recently!

7. I try and see other peoples point of view.

8. I don't believe you should pay for education unless you ABSOLUTELY believe in what you are paying for.

From the mouth of babes: things my SIX year old has learned from attending school from her perspective.

1. To be kind to others.

2. To read.

3. Learning about God.

4. Learn how to play with my friends.

5. Learning how to get along with others.

Just a few important things I have seen my six year old learn from school:

1. Her confidence level has boosted. She does not need me to stand around and watch her at cheer practice, she doesn't need me to hold her hand while exploring books in the library, and she doesn't need me to make her own lunches anymore. These are things she feels confident she can do herself!

2. She has improved tremendously on reading, writing and spelling. She could do those things at home, but I am not a great teacher for the upper grades. I want to see what she can do with other people. When she grows up and gets a job I won't be there to hold her hand and tell her how to do her job. She will have to learn these things away from me!

3. I have seen her passions and interests grow. She enjoys Spanish class (something we would have never wanted to pay for or invest time in).

4. She enjoys getting to meet new teachers and playing with friends of all ages on the playground. She has made some tight knit friends, but has been able to be flexible and allow new people in. She has learned that people come and go in life, but family is constant.

A few things I have seen my young one learn from school.

1. She is flexible.

2. She can make friends with anybody.

3. She can hang in a crowd with kids a year older than her.

4. She takes to a second language easily.

5. She can fall and get hurt and is fine with another teacher comforting her.

Having two in school has been a fun experience this year. My girls have enjoyed swapping stories about their daily happenings and I can see how much they enjoy time with their teachers and friends. I have really enjoyed watching both of them spark and have a passion for things I could not offer them otherwise. I am so proud of them, and cannot wait to see what the rest of this year holds for us!

Madilyn ready for school 

Sweet girl excited about school

Madilyn is crazy

My big girl ready for school 

First day of Kindergarten vs First day of 1st Grade

At school 









Monday, August 11, 2014

Open House: CCS 2014

Kylie Jade had open house at school today. It was so bittersweet walking down the hall way and seeing all things first grade. I kept having flashbacks of last year. We took the day and made it all about Kylie. She was so excited to start kindergarten and be in "real school!" It was just so ...weird...having done it all before. She was bouncing around the minute her feet hit inside the school; she was so thrilled. She took off right to her class and met her teacher. She put all her supplies away and talked about how fun first grade was going to be. She wanted to see her kindergarten teacher so we walked down the hall we walked down last year and headed for her class.

It looked the same, except her name wasn't plastered on that side of the hall. Her hook was taken by someone else, and the desks were covered with the rising pre-kindergartners names. Mrs W welcomed her with a hug and talked about how much she has grown and how she cannot believe the year is over. Kylie was all smiles and exploded with so many stories.

We headed to the new playground area and she darted off. She saw her friend Liam and they talked for a minute then she was running around again. I couldn't help but wonder if Madilyn will be joining her next year for Pre-K. I would have two open houses, two children running around the playground and twice as many tears to choke back. She just looked so big. I still can't believe she is already a first grader. We headed to get Popsicles and grab her spirit shirt then we headed back to the playground. She got to see a few more people and then it was time to go pick up Madilyn from Preschool.

When I see Kylie Jade at school, in her element, I feel secure in our decision. All the money we put into this school is paying off. I see it on her face every time she steps foot through the doors. She is loved there, she is encouraged to be her best, and she is happy. As much as I cringe every time I make a payment I know it has all been worth it. Every time I clock myself into work and think of what my kids are doing. I know I have made the right decision. I don't need to feel guilt, I don't need to worry, I don't need to break. I am providing them with the best school environment possible. I have no regrets. Kylie has flourished. She hasn't been forgotten. She is alive. She is known. She is happy.

From Kindergarten to First Grade 




Saturday, August 9, 2014

Just Another August

August is always a very busy month for those of us that have children in conventional school. Tax free weekend announces those first crazy days before school starts. The mad rush to gather items, tax free, off a supply list. The over-crowed stores where items are misplaced or gone altogether so the little tykes can cross another item off their list. August is officially "back to school season" where the uniforms start to over run the clothes sections and stores are full of grim looking children as they throw item after item into an already over packed shopping cart.

August is also a time where a lot of children are getting the jitters as they get apprehensive about a new classroom, maybe even a new school. Some kids hate their current school and don't want to return and some children, like mine, are overly excited asking every day when they can go back and learn with their friends.

August, for me, always brings a time of reflection. I think back to the year before and how I cannot believe we have come this far. I have been a mother for 6 years! It is a time where I thank God for the path He has allowed me to travel. This year I don't feel nervous about whether she will make friends, or scared she will get lost and not know her way around the school. This year is easier in a sense that she knows the routine and knows where she is going and if somehow she got separated she knows where to go to find help. I don't feel so worried that she won't have any friends and that she won't like school. I have different fears for this upcoming school year. Will she be able to maintain friendships with her friends in different classes this year? Will she find her own path and not follow the norm? Will she be able to keep up with her extra curricular activities and homework? Will she make new friends from the kids in her class? Will her and her teacher have a solid relationship? I know, in my heart, she will be fine, but these are worries that still surface from time to time.

August announces a new beginning as children have a whole new place to begin. Some children had teachers they didn't get along with last year and now they have a chance at renewing themselves. The beginning of new friendships that will sprout this year. The beginning of a new grade. The beginning of a new adventure.

My house will soon be full of worksheets, homework folders, back packs flung on the floor, and many notes I have to read or sign (between the two kids that will now be in school). I will h ave lunches to pack, snacks to throw in back packs and make sure we have plenty at home for when we walk through the door. Sleep routines will be back in place strictly and all the exciting activities will begin. As much as I love this time of year, I also dread it. It just means they have grown another year older. It means I have to start all over again with making sure they have clothes, supplies, and anything else they may need.

The start of a new beginning...I think I am ready...


Kylie Jade is just beautiful

Silly girls!

Madilyn and her friend Parker getting into markers

First day of Preschool 8/4

She thinks she's grown

Fun times at Preschool

Sassy

Best Friends

Getting ready for school
Gymnasts
Lost her 3rd tooth first top tooth 8/9
















Sunday, August 3, 2014

Back to School

It is August. The time for back to school supply shopping, meshing all our schedules and finding out new teachers, new friends, and making new memories. As we prepare ourselves for another school year we are adding one to the mix. Madilyn Kate starts a summer daycare program tomorrow (3 days a week), but will begin Preschool officially August 18th. I am so very happy for my little girl to go to school, since it is basically all she talks about, but I am also sad. We say goodbye to the baby years and toddler years and say hello to the Preschool years. I know she will do wonderfully as she has been anticipating this since last year!

Kylie Jade has been counting the days til school starts. She has been marking days off since we came home from our beach vacation on Thursday July 31st. All she has talked about the last 3 days is "how many more days? When will I meet my teacher?" etc.
We went school supply shopping way before tax free weekend but we used tax free weekend to grab back to school clothes and prepare ourselves for the world of first grade.

August 13th starts a new adventure for Kylie she will be in a new classroom, with some new faces and a whole new teacher. She has been excited and nervous and has had a bout of before school jitters! This is the world I have wanted for her, not isolated, not forgotten, but confident. I wanted other people to get to know her beauty inside and out and to bring her into an environment where she can learn to grow, away from me and have that confidence to know she can do it without me! She can, because she is smart and never alone. Just because she goes to school does not mean I don't stay involved and let our relationship drift. I know Kylie Jade like the back of my hand. Her wonderful bubbly spirit, and her kind heart. School is the world I never got to experience and still hate that I don't have those photos, those memories, or that experience. I am so glad that this life was chosen for us. I couldn't imagine being on the other end. Being on the outside watching as everyone prepares for school and I keep my child home with me, not allowing them to gain their confidence or independency. Not allowing her to experience a very normal part of childhood. Where routines don't matter and school is "every day life." Before I had kids I knew what I wanted for them. I knew I wanted them surrounded by Christ in their school environment and I knew that I wanted them to be able to grow with teacher guidance and peers. I don't want them stuck at home, bored out of their minds, book learning or throwing random experiences in their faces and calling it school. I want them to experience the things I never got too. *edit to add that this would more than likely be their homeschooling experience I know it is not how everyone home schools their children*

As back to school is nearing so are extra curricular activities. Kylie Jade and Madilyn have stayed in gymnastics year round as they always do, but this year we have allowed them to pick another activity of their interest. Kylie Jade chose cheerleading and Madilyn chose t-ball. We went for a uniform fitting for Kylie and got an email about upcoming events for cheer, haven't heard much about t-ball but I have all her things and she is ready to play.

I am ready for my new job to take off and just ready to see what the future holds, God willing. I will watch my girls blossom, and mold into wonderful little girls. I am gonna cherish every moment because in May I will have a four year old and a seven year old and I am just not ready for that mess. I am just gonna take this one day at time. That's all you can do!

trying on a random cheer uniform 

Back to school hair cut
Madilyn's first hair cut
My crazies at the beach