The Sky's The Limit

There is something so warming about the cartoons on in the background, the smell of hot chocolate and dinner cooking, and the warmth of a nice, fuzzy blanket to cuddle in.
The girls and I have been taking long, evening walks as part of our "sound body, sound mind" theme.
Once their little noses are red and cheeks rosy we head back in as the street lights gleam and the air becomes slightly frosty.
Hand in hand we walk and talk about all the things we are seeing, digesting every bit of the outdoors we can get on our twenty minute trek around the neighborhood.

Once inside you'd think we were the "perfect" family. If you were to take only a glimpse you'd see me scurrying around to get dinner ready, the girls cleaning up their messes and laughing. In reality there is a lot of whining, shuffling of feet and grumbles, but that's the life with children isn't it?
As I finally sit down to take a bite of the delicious meal I cooked up there are screams of more water or more food, or I spilled something...anything to take me away from that first bite.
On the rare occasion we do not sit as a family and I allow TV time (such as tonight) I hear nothing but the low humming from the flickering screen.

I rarely have any down time to contemplate all the things I am so thankful for, but take for granted. For instance; silence. It is an amazing gift, which I rarely receive, but when I do I feel grace wash over me.
If only I took more time to silently pray, eyes closed, and nothing around me.
So much distractions, and very little praying is hard on the mind and soul.

As the hectic day is winding down to a slightly less chaotic night I feel the love all around me.
Two beautiful feet sticking out from underneath their eating trays as they watch a Mickey Mouse Christmas movie.
I sigh, I chuckle and then I begin to prepare for the end.
There's always an end, but with endings we gain a new beginning.
And with a new beginning the sky's the limit.

Used

I close my eyes tightly and pretend this isn't real.
I've disappointed, I'm disappointed.
These angels drifting with their bows of hate.
Lie after lie, curse after curse.
Cover up your tracks and live in denial.
I let my breath out evenly as I swear to the world.
This isn't how my life was supposed to be.
I've given up completely; broke away from the crowd.
I'll walk alone, suffer the pain alone and carry the burden alone.
There's no going back you've set your fate.
Never forget. Never forgive.

What Else Is Left?

It's late.

It's dark. 

There's no one left, but me. 

The silence. 

It's deafening.

I'm worn from the screams. 

Cutting deeper and deeper until there's nothing left. 

I'm broken, I'm worn this doesn't make any sense. 

At some point isn't life supposed to carry you with it? 

I close my eyes tight and scream into the night. 

It's crazy.

It's bizarre. 

I just don't make any sense. 

It's cold. 

The air. 

There's ashes every where. 

My tongue spews the poison that stains my blackened heart. 

I don't think, I don't care I continue this fate. 

At some point isn't life supposed to get easier?

I scream, I grin I tightly clench my fists. 

This world.

It's over. 

There's no one left, but me.

This silence.

It's deafening. 

All I hear are my screams. 

I'm done.

It's over.

The emptiness is gone. 

I've drifted. 

I've faded. 

Alone, worn, forgotten. 

It is what it is

Things aren't always quite what they seem to be.

People aren't always who you think they are.

Life isn't always what you planned it to be. 

Most people do not grow up beyond middle school in the maturity department. 

If you do not conform to what society says is right basically you are shunned. 

If you think differently than everyone else you will be called weird.

If you aren't a size 2 you are fat. 

If you yell out of frustration you are all of a sudden a bad parent. 

If you have concerns about your child that seem to be petty to some you are labeled as "that parent."

If your child doesn't eat an only organic diet you do not care about their health.

If your child has three play dates in one day they are "over scheduled."

If you don't parent the way your friend does you "don't have a clue."

Life isn't what you planned it to be.

You have to roll with the punches. 

It never gets easier drying your child's tears. 

If you mess with my kids I will rip you to shreds. 

Friends are only friends until boredom sets in. 

Girls are cruel. 

If you aren't being talked about behind your back you are a nobody. 

Lastly life is never what it seems to be, do what you do, live how you live, and enjoy the long, bumpy ride ahead of you.