Eye Dr. Appointments and Promotions!

Madilyn had her eye dr appointment today.

He didn't seem to think she needed glasses, however her eye has gotten worse. 

She went from a 4 to a 40 in a matter of a year =(.

He mentioned if it hasn't corrected itself by the time she is 4 years old we will discuss surgery which I am not at all thrilled about. 

He wants to see if he can find the cause of what is making her eye turn outwards so we are going back May 1st to dilate her eyes. 

Unfortunately the appointment is at 7:40 in the morning blah! 

The things we do for our kids...even if that means waking up at 5:45 am to help her.

I just hope her eyes are okay and correct themselves with time. 

Madilyn and Kylie were being so well behaved before we left he mentioned how lucky we were to have such well behaved, beautiful girls. 

I was beaming with pride. 

They are really wonderful kids when they want to be.

I set her appointment and we were off.

This rainy day has me uber lazy. 

I have just been party planning and packing what I can. 

I am excited about this move I think it's going to be best for all involved. 

It gives my mom time to connect with  my beautiful angels and John and I time to pay off bills before Kylie Jade starts Kindergarten.

This reminds me we found a car for John.

It's an older car a ford tempo, but it's 4 door and a stick shift and only 800$ so we are going for it.

Best part they said we can make payments first payment of 400$ and then 200$ the next two months. 

I am pretty stoked we will FINALLY be a 2 vehicle family!

Which reminds me John should know this week if he got the RP job.

However even if he doesn't get it we will be alright. 

He got to bid to a new shift (which won't start til March), but he just got on his first choice shift!

That never has happened before, so he will be working 6am-3pm that's IF he doesn't get RP.

Of course I want him to stay with that shift cause that means we will see each other more and he will have Fridays and Saturdays off, but at the same time I know he'd rather be in RP even if he does have to settle with a crappy shift...and RP comes with a big raise.

Either way I think John and I can work through whatever happens. It would be nice to see him in the summer. 

I finally have a plan for how I am going to lose some pounds..

I am actually waiting on Kylie Jade's movie to end so I can start my workout for the day. 

It's gonna suck and be a long road to go down, but I know in the end it will be totally worth it. 

Well I better get back to party planning. I am trying to set a budget for birthday supplies, the venues (Madilyn's will be free) and the presents. It's taking a lot more planning than I thought. 

'

Surgery or no surgery I will always be here for you and nothing will take away that sweet smile! 

Rest Easy And Sleep Away Your Misery

Happiness.

No matter which way you spin it I am happy.

Your hateful words, sarcasm and put downs will do nothing to change that.

My world was changed on December 28th and I won't ever forget that date.

It was when everything I had wanted for my life for an entire year finally came true.

I had the opportunity to stay home with my two beautiful girls. 

I finally feel like my life is falling into place.

I have been miserable for so long that it is nice to feel something other than anger. 

I was presented this opportunity in ways not many could fashion.

Maybe it wasn't the best way to approach it either, but in my mind it had to be done. 

If I ever wanted life to go MY way I had to take it by the horns and spin it the way I wanted too.

I wasn't scared to break the rules or any of that other mess. It is MY life not anyone else's. 

Not many of you know all that was going on in my life at the time, some of you do. 

At that point in time all that mattered were those beautiful faces. 

That was it.

End of story.

As a mother you have to put your children first, before anything.

After all who is going to look after them if their mother doesn't?

No matter which way you slice it those girls are my duty to care for. 

And I am gonna do whatever it takes to properly care for them.

Do I think putting them in poorly run daycare centers was the best choice for my girls?

I knew it wasn't.

Even if I did love most of the teachers, I was not okay with the fact that my kids didn't come first.

And why should they, they are in a class of 12-18 other students?

Life doesn't always have to be a war.

It is what you make of it. 

Your misery isn't going to get my company, because I am finally at the point where I am better than that. 

I have come along way since I was that miserable, cutting, hating the world sixteen year old.

I will never forget my past, but I can change my future. 

I no longer wish the worst on my enemies, but I wish them wealth and peace. 

I no longer loathe authority in ways I once did. 

I no longer struggle to shut my eyes for fear of the darkness.

My past is not me. 

It will forever be a part of me, yes, but it will no longer control me.

I have freed myself of those chains and began to make a link to where I want to be in life.

I finally have goals and aspirations for myself.

It took a lot for me to find these words. 

Words are hard to come by for some.

I may not be the smartest, prettiest, funniest person, but I do have feelings. 

Whether you want them to be crushed or not is not up to me that I will leave for you to decide.

I obviously bare an impact on people I never thought I would once I was gone.

The insignificant people in life are always the ones that squawk the loudest. 

I have learned through the many trials I have gone through that some things aren't worth fighting for. 

I am willing to let go of all the hate in my heart. 

As my oldest is so close to entering the real world (she starts Kindergarten in the fall).

I find myself frantically trying to make the world make sense.

It just doesn't work that way. 

I am what I am and that is all I can give.

Whether you like me or hate me you have no say over what happens in my life.

I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, a leader, a daughter, an aunt, a perfectionist, a writer and so much more.

Laughter is great medicine. 

And if I have given you  nothing other than laughter over the things I write, or say, or feel then at least I have given you that joy. 

I hope in time you all find peace and happiness within yourselves.

Whether you are for me or against me.

You obviously cared enough about me to read this post.

Until next time...

Holy Water Beads And Shaving Cream

Schools were closed due to icy conditions.
I planned activities ahead of time to get the little ones busy.
I know better than to be stuck inside a 2 bedroom 1 bath duplex with two ROWDY children.
I must say I did a good job of it considering my girls haven't even see the outdoors at all today.

Last night Kylie Jade and I decided to get the water beads ready to go.

Adding the water to one of the vases

Tiny water beads

Time for the blue ones 

She was adding water

Showing me the tiny beads

Immediately after we put them in they started absorbing the water

This is what they looked like when we first put them in

So I woke up this morning to check it and...

They absorbed almost all that water over night! 

We had a fun day of Zumba, flash cards, work books, starfall.com, Tangled, lunch and of course nap time! 

Kylie Jade had waited patiently ALL day to get her hands into the water beads. 

She just had to hold out a little longer until Madilyn woke up.

As soon as she heard Madilyn banging on the door she lit up with delight and exclaimed "WATER BEADS!"

Water Beads in shaving cream

The girls hard at work

Madilyn playing in shaving cream with her water beads

Having fun getting messy

She said "I'm making a water bead pie!"

After we cleaned up the shaving cream we decided to play in just play with them

Madilyn showing me her "ball"

Showing me the water beads

We had so much fun playing with water beads and shaving cream! 

I tell you what the mess didn't even bother me, I know amazing right?

I just let them chill out and have fun.

I think these are the things they will remember.

Madilyn played with those "balls" for about an hour and then she was OVER IT.

I took that opportunity to play around with her.

I got some of the FUNNIEST faces.

Here are the many faces of Madilyn Kate. 

Pouty face

Not sure I guess nervous?

My sweet smiley baby 

And miss priss wanted one.

Adorable.

The days are filled with fun and learning and I am so lucky to be experiencing these things along with my kids.

I am so excited to continue being a teacher.

Just am teaching my own instead of others.

I definitely wouldn't change a thing about it. 

No More Worries Of Perfection I Am What I Am And That Is Awesome

Oh boy what a day it was!
I called Kylie Jade's Preschool last night and was told they were not having class due to a sick teacher.
So this morning we lounged around she wanted to go play so we dropped her off at 10 (an hour after Preschool normally starts) and the teacher WAS THERE!
I talked with her for a minute and she apologized profusely.

So while Kylie Jade was at school I took it upon myself to have a shopping morning with just Madilyn.
She is so much more chill as an only.
We decided to browse around Babies R Us first.
Oh boy! I got myself into some trouble.

First I ran into the swim suits.
They were having a sale on all Minnie Mouse products.

Here were the two I loved.

This one is so freaking cute

But we ended up with this one because daddy liked it better

The clothes were also 25 percent off...

so I walked out with this shirt for Madilyn's birthday!

After buying those two items we decided to move onto the Dollar Tree we still had 45 minutes left to go before getting Kylie Jade so off we bounded.

There were so many cute, affordable things there.

I got pretty excited.

But my budget was 5$ so I made SURE not to go over (of course I went .46 over with tax but I mean 5$ not including tax).

Water Beads! 

I scored some water beads! 

I got two colors blue and pink I thought the girls would enjoy that most.

We are planning on doing that science experiment tomorrow. 

However Kylie Jade has been begging for me to do it with her all day (gotta save something fun for tomorrow though.)

After we got Kylie Jade we came home ate lunch and then I put the little one to sleep.

Kylie Jade and I got to working on her workbooks.

Oddly enough I think that's her favorite time of the day. 

She just was plowing through it...that's my girl!

Kylie Jade working hard in her Kindergarten book

She got a reading book (hoping it keeps fostering that love to learn to read)

Heck even Madilyn got in the spirit of learning her shapes and colors...

Kylie Jade showing Madilyn her new Minnie Mouse flash cards!

There are so many things I need to start working on with Madilyn.

Really getting into potty training, breaking the paci and one I hadn't thought about til recently. 

Transitioning to a cup without a lid.

So today that is what we worked on and I must say she did AWESOME! 

Drinkin like a pro

 I was told yesterday that my posts about me being a "perfect" mom were annoying.

At first I felt the need to defend why I post what I post.

After reflecting on this for a day now I realize I don't have to apologize to ANYONE for how I choose to raise my girls.

If you think my posts about my girls (blog or facebook) are to show off that I'm perfect you are wrong. 

I posts things about my kids because they are my life and they are what goes on in my life the majority of the time.

These people who do not have kids do not understand (the girl that told me this has no kids).

One day if she is blessed enough to have a wonderful child (I lucked out and got two) she will understand.

The effort and love I put into my kids is a 100 percent.

And although I will admit to not being perfect I do put my everything into raising them. 

I am their Mother! That IS my job. 

I am somewhat honored that anyone would think I am perfect.

Unfortunately I fall short...a lot. 

It is my goal and challenge this year to not let the outsiders control what is going on inside.

I no longer will let these things eat me up, because in reality you have no idea what you are talking about.

My goal is to be a damn good mother...and apparently it is working.

I have these two beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, slightly demonic children to show for it.

I am not perfect.

They are not perfect. 

But we are perfect as a team. 

And if that bothers you well you know where you can shove it. (;

I Will Never Lose Sight Of What Is Important

The trouble about staying home (and sharing a wall) is finding things to do...quiet things.

This day we decided on bed shopping. 

I know, I know we won't actually be in our own place til July/August of this year (as we are moving in with my mom from March until then), but I want to put one on layaway as to be paying as little (or much) as I want too. 

Anyway I decided to allow Kylie Jade to help me with picking out the beds (after all one of them is hers).

My child and her big tastes she picked out an unbelievably gorgeous bed, but it was quite expensive since I need two. 

The nice gentleman steered her to the bunkbeds which can be taken apart and used as twin beds. 

The best part it is 299 for BOTH beds and only 130 for the mattress (Madilyn needs a mattress).  

So sometime in March (hoping that deal stands) I will be putting their beds on layaway.

Unfortunately I remembered they would not be sharing a room which means I need another piece of furniture for one of the girls (I looked but didn't see anything I fell in love with!) 

In the meantime we decided bedding needed to be looked at. 

Lucky for me I could do that online, so I loaded the girls back in the car brought them home for a snack. 

I decided play dough was in order while I was browsing the net. 

I had each girl get their princess tray and sit down.

I gave each kid some play dough and a few accessories to go with it. 

While they mashed, rolled and banged their play dough I was peacefully looking for the best bedding I could find. 

Good thing my girls are easy to please.

The girls playing play dough 

Here's a picture of the bedding I found for the girls.

Here is the one I like for Madilyn

This would be Kylie Jade's 

After browsing around and saving some links Kylie Jade wanted me to put on songs so she could perform for me. 

After her performing (which apparently my neighbors did not enjoy, I mean we were in the living room COME ON NOW!) We decided to venture outside.

Needless to say my girls had a friggin blast. 

Madilyn enjoyed most playing with sticks, rocks and jumping the leftover puddles. 

Riding her bike like a pro...oh she picked her ensemble if you were wondering 

Madilyn pushing her buggy

Playing with a stick in the puddle

Showing me she had two sticks! 

We came in and I started dinner.

You know nothing is more annoying then when you are halfway done preparing dinner and your stomach is growling like a damn bear, and come to find out you are out of ONE ingredient. 

I grit my teeth got the girls REDRESSED (socks, shoes, coats) and loaded them in the car.

We got to Bilo and I caved and got them Oreos (I mean their sweet pleads with those big eyes I couldn't resist). 

Funny we saw some ER Fire Department guys and they were telling Kylie Jade how awesome her glasses were. She was so proud to tell them about it, it was quite adorable. 

While dinner was finishing up I had the girls playing with their party favors from Braylon's party.

The girls had so much fun. 

I got to cook in peace (well mostly)

And I got to hear my little girls interact...win win WIN!

Their new party favors they just LOVED this! 

I am realizing how quickly time is flying by.

No matter how annoyed I get or agitated I will never get these moments back.

Looking at these pictures I am seeing how much time has already passed. 

I will not take these precious girls for granted. 

They deserve my attention.

They deserve my positive attitude.

They deserve to be cherished.

They deserve my undying love. 

And I will continue to give them the things they require.

Because at the end of the day money doesn't matter. 

The only thing that matters is that we have each other.

And you can't put a price tag on love. 

Until next time...

Party Planning At It's Finest!

I tried to hold off as long as possible, but I want an idea of how much money I need to spend so the birthday planning has begun (especially since I have TWO birthdays to plan for in May.)


Madilyn's party is Minnie Mouse themed and (obviously) needs more work than Kylie Jade's. Since Madilyn will be two and we will be staying with my mother until August we decided it would be PERFECT to use her 2 tier deck to have a pool party.
My mom has a slip n slide and a pool. I have a pool and a water table so the kids can rotate and do whatever.
We will also be grilling out! Hamburgers and hotdogs we will have chips and other yummy treats.
I am so excited, a little sad that my baby is turning 2, but happy that we are going to have an awesome party!


Here are a few ideas for Madilyn's party:

Bucket for Madilyn Kate's presents

Cupcake toppers

I thought these were adorable

Madilyn's shirt 

Invitation! 

Kylie Jade's party will be a lot easier!
She wants hers at Kidspark (she finally decided between little gym, kidspark, and coolidge park) and they do a lot of the planning for me (thank you Jesus!)
We are doing hers Hello Kitty Themed and I doubt we will do a whole meal, but probably a snack.
She is very excited as she LOVES her new school.

Here's a few ideas for Kylie Jade's party:

Cake pops

Birthday invite

Cupcake toppers (although I have different ones in mind)

Her bucket for presents

Kylie Jade's 5th birthday shirt 

Anyway that is all I have right now, but as it gets closer I will start purchasing things.
I also need to hold Kylie Jade's party at Kidspark, but they said I only need to let them know about 4 weeks in advance!
Oh! Also need to get an invite list for both kids!


Other news:
I was talking to the ladies at gymnastics and they said I could go ahead and sign up Madilyn for the spring seession (in march!) YAY! She is so ready to be in a class, but they say 2 years. Thankfully they see what a pain she is and are allowing me to let her start early.

Oh and Kylie Jade will be moving up to Gymnastics 1 in March as well. I cannot believe she started in Gym Tots 1 and is now going to Gymnastics 1 she is getting big on me!

Show Me A Daughter That's Bursting Into Life

She was loved the minute I found out I was pregnant with her.
It was a peculiar feeling, but one I would treasure forever.
Once I saw those two dark pink lines my heart stopped.
This is the moment I had been waiting for since I was a kid myself.

In my heart I am a mother.
That is who I have always been.
Whether it was babysitting, or taking care of my nieces and nephews.
Kids were always going to be apart of me.

Now, as unexpected as it was, I was beyond thrilled for my little bundle that was growing inside of me.
"Yep it's positive!" I hollered out.
My poor husband, nineteen years old, ghost white, and about to embark on fatherhood.
Let me just tell you this secret he wasn't too keen on the idea of kids anyway, he wanted them just never early.

I tried to hide my glee, but it was just bursting out.
My own little baby.
That night I called everyone I knew.
Reflecting back that probably wasn't the smartest idea, but I was too excited.

As I lay in bed that night I did not think of all the things I would be missing out on, in fact, I was thinking of the enormous journey of headaches, kisses, annoyances, laughter, crying, and tear wiping I would be doing.
It wasn't something I had planned for myself that early, but I wasn't going to cry about it either.
It is my desire to be a mother.
My ovaries burn when anyone announces a pregnancy (whether I want a baby at the time or not!)

It didn't take long for me to dig into What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Reading all these things about Dr. Appointments and what not stressed me out.
I had to make an appointment...what if baby wasn't okay?
What was baby...a girl or boy?

Not long after my looooong visit to the DHS office was I accepted onto the TennCare program.
I found a Dr. quickly and was excited, but super nervous about my first visit.
As we both sat nervously in the waiting office I glanced around at all the pregnant faces.
Boy they all looked so miserable, and here I was, the dumb fool, smiling like a kid on Christmas.

"Wipe that smile off your face!" I said to myself in a rather stern tone of voice.
I can do this.
My name was called.
I was free from looking at misery and onto the excitement that is baby talk.

I had to take all kinds of blood tests, answer questions and pee in a cup.
Not what I expected for a first visit, but I did it all as happy as can be.
I mean come on I was pregnant!
Nothing could break my spirit.

As I entered the room that's where I began to understand the misery upon all those pregnant faces.
"Undress from the waist down!"
I was mortified.
"But uh doesn't that only happen when the baby comes?" My brain would just not shut up!

As I waited impatiently and most uncomfortably for the Dr. I was trying to distract myself from thinking of anything but being half naked on a table.
My Dr. arrived.
Quick and easy.
In and out.

To the ultrasound room since I wasn't exactly sure of conception they wanted an idea of how far along I was.
I slipped back into my clothes and waited again in a separate lobby area.
Not terribly long I was asked to come back.
And undress again...oh the embarrassment!

It felt gooey.
It was cold.
It was very uncomfortable.
I just kept my eyes forward, on that screen.

A flutter.
What was that?
Was that it?
My heart began to race.

I saw my baby.
They explained everything to me and told me how far along I was.
EIGHT WEEKS!
Oh my! I was beyond thrilled.

Even through all the embarrassment I left there with hearts in my eyes.
I may be biased but that was the most beautiful ultrasound I had ever seen.
Heck, I even had pictures to prove it.
I called everyone I could think of to notify of my little babies progress.

The glow wore off and I began the morning sickness stage.
Anything and everything turned me off.
My stomach churned at the smell of popcorn.
I hurled at the mention of McDonalds.

Sleep and throwing up was about all I did the rest of the first trimester and halfway into the second.
I was miserable.
All those pregnant faces from the Dr. came back to haunt me.
No one wonder they looked like they were about to pry that human out of their bodies.

I was in school at the time all this was occurring and thankfully my professors understood and let John turn in all the work I did at home for me.
The only thing I had to show up for was the exam, which I did, thankfully, puke free.
I aced the courses and didn't even want to think about school again.

I remember one particular night as that little baby was growing inside me I was just sitting in my bed, tears streaming down my face, puking my guts out.
The bile. Oh that nasty bile.
John was giving me sprite after sprite, pill after pill, but that baby wasn't having it.

I promised myself then I was NEVER EVER having another baby!
As the morning sickness subsided John and I decided to find a better place.
After all who dreams of bringing a baby into an apartment?
I wasn't and I didn't.

The big day finally came.
Boy or girl? Pink or blue? Kylie Jade or Gavyn Michael?
I crossed my fingers and my toes and held my breath as she poured the blue goo all over my belly.
"you must've eaten something yummy your baby is sticking it's tongue out!"

"OH MY GOSH SO PRECIOUS!" I was craning my neck to see...
Penis or vagina. Which was it?
She was having some trouble getting the baby to cooperate.
Come on baby I NEED to know.

She poked and prodded me, but that little stubborn butt would not uncross those legs.
The baby got frustrated and began to roll over.
Gotcha.
It's a baby GIRL!

Tears sprang from my eyes immediately.
John was beaming...a daddy's girl.
The ultrasound technician looked at me like I lost my damn mind.
But how could it be a girl? I mean I knew in my heart she was, but where was my momma's boy?

I sulked around for days afterwards.
Why was it a girl? What is so damn special about little girls?
I was going to be broke trying to dress her up.
And I wanted a boy...what the hell was I supposed to do with a girl...cheerleading and makeup were not my forte.

The longer I went knewing she was my little girl the easier it became.
I was getting excited.
We finally found our house and sealed the deal.
First room to do, baby girls.

I enjoyed shopping for colors and picking out the bedding and all the things that baby entails.
I knew she was coming home to a great place.
As I was growing I was becoming more impatient.
Would she hurry up and pop out now?

AS the day approached I began to get nervous.
Left and right people were having their babies and I wasn't nearly prepared.
I had already had my baby shower by that point all that was left was the baby.
I was nesting, I was folding and refolding, cleaning out the corners by the baseboards.

One day as I lay on the couch I felt as if an elephant were sitting on my chest.
Was this normal?
I lay my hand upon my belly and felt the familiar kicks and punches.
Okay she was fine.

I looked down at my hand.
OH MY GOSH THEY LOOKED LIKE SAUSAGES!
My toes and fingers were blue.
We called the Dr. and I was seen right away.

After a very painful Dr visit I was told to take some miralax and lay down and nap (what the hell did they think I had been doing?) DUH NAPPING!
Got home wussed out on the miralax but laid down and fell restlessly back to sleep.
BAM! I couldn't breathe again.

My hands and fingers were bigger than ever and were blue again.
My brother rushed me to the dr again (as John went into work) and I was seen again.
After another uncomfortable visit where I was stripped from the waist down and having fingers shoved up places I didn't want them they announced I was dilated 2 1/2 cm.
My blood pressure was up (of course ass hats you checked for blood pressure as you were checking for dilation!)

I was sent on my way to Erlanger Medical Center downtown.
I was on my way to having my baby.
"John, you're about to be a daddy!"
I sent the text beaming all the way down the elevator.

My brother and I made a quick stop to get John on our way to the hospital.
It was May 29th 4pm when I was checked in.
I was nervous.
I mean wouldn't you be? A huge baby was about to come out of my vagina and I wasn't nearly prepared.

She wasn't even due until June 1st.
I got in the hospital bed and an IV (which took four freaking times) was placed in my hand.
I was hooked up to all sorts of machines and gadgets they explained each one, but I couldn't hear them because my heart was pounding in my ears.
She was coming...she was coming.

The contractions began to get worse.
I was being pressured from all corners of the room.
JUST TAKE THE DAMN DRUGS.
I did and I flipped the crap out.

I was crying and shaking.
A needle was placed in my spine.
Not long after I was out.
I needed the damn rest.

I was awoken by my water breaking.
Was not pleasant, but at least we were progressing right?
Every time they came in I felt more miserable than the last.
Why haven't I had the baby yet?

Day quickly turned to night which, in turn, progressed back to day time.
May 30th and I still haven't had her.
"What is going on!" I wondered.
Nurses were in and out.

I kept getting checked and rechecked progress was slow.
Everyone was getting anxious for baby girl to come, but I was still nervous.
I was checked once more.
It's time to push!

Five twenty rolled around and I began the first round of pushes.
The Dr. was stationed down south my mom and husband on either side of my head.
I pushed and pushed and pushed with all my might.
Tears were streaming down my face.

Oh my God it hurt.
Why is it hurting? Didn't I get the freaking epidural.
As I pushed I glanced at my bag...
Wouldn't you know it was EMPTY.

I went through all that pain with the damn needle and they didn't even have the decency to refill my drip bag.
Boy was I pissed.
My face was red and puffy, eyes blood shot, and I couldn't stand the pain.
Was my vagina ripping in half?

"She's crowning!"
"Keep pushing!"
"Don't hold your breath!"
"I SEE HER HEAD!"

Everyone was screaming.
My eyes were shut tight.
I was holding my breath...then something amazing happened.
My brain turned off and I couldn't hear ANYTHING.

It was silent.
It was just me and the baby that was hanging halfway out of my lower half.
I pushed. I held my breath and I PUSHED with all my might.
The Dr. snapped at me. "You're not doing it right!"

"SHUT UP DR.!" I gritted my teeth and pushed with all my might.
She popped out.
I saw her for a brief moment and she was swept away.
The Dr. began stitching.

With every stitch I cringed, but where was my baby?
People were crowded around her and I was jealous.
I just pushed out a baby for twenty three minutes (she was born at 5:43 pm) and everyone else was enjoying her first coos.
Wasn't long and she was in my arms.

Tears started streaming my face.
This is Kylie Jade?
She was beyond anything I had ever imagined she would be.
Perfection. Beautiful. And she was mine.

I can't exactly describe to you everything I felt the moment I looked in her eyes.
It was a magical feeling.
I knew, from then on that I was her world and she was mine.
As I rocked my beautiful brand new little girl I didn't care what I had said before.

She was worth every second, every stitch, every painful push.
And looking into her big, beautiful blue eyes.
I knew in my heart that I would do it again.
Because the love of a mother NEVER ends.

John and I awaiting the arrival of our daughter 

Me and mine

My little girl

My mom and I

Punk rock princess

New kicks 

Family photo

Me and the princess

Adorable girl

Sitting up all on her own

Happiest baby ever

Tuckered out from all the crawling she was doing

Love that face and her dress

Cool kids on the block

My independent little cutie

Getting ready for her first birthday

Growing like a weed

A year and a half

2nd birthday

2 and a half

Three years old and ready for the discovery museum

Three and a half

Four years old

4 1/2 and cute as can be

And here she is Diva in all ways!