School Chat

I love getting to peek inside my girls world. School world that is. We had parents night tonight and it was fun getting to see what my girls do on a daily basis.

I noticed Kylie's handwriting/spelling has improved leaps and bounds I can actually understand what she is writing and read it! I was super impressed with her classroom and her teacher. She seems very sweet and warm. She was very welcoming and her classroom looks orderly, but fun! Kylie's desk was neat, she had lots of work sitting on her desk for me to thumb through and I got a glimpse of what her classroom is like! I was super excited because 2nd grade is unknown to me!

Madilyn's class we went to first and I was very excited to hear she is adjusting well. She has made good friends with two girls named Brilynn and Kritter and she seems to mention an Aryana a lot. I got her curriculum for the year and got to talk with her teacher a bit. I am very happy to see what the day to day will look like for her. Sounds like Pre-K will be a great fit for her.

Overall I feel like this year has already started off on a better foot than last year. Kylie seems a lot happier and not so bogged down and she's gotten the spring to her step back. Madilyn is adjusting. She still says the days are long and that she misses me, but I know once it becomes normal and routine she will be okay.

Here's to our third year as CCS parents =)

 

2nd grade

 

Pre-K

 

School days

Kylieisms

Conversations with my oldest.

Telling me what she did on the playground:

"We were playing doggies on the playground. I was playing with Liam, Miller, Meghan, Madelyn, Ellie, and Calum. I was the puppy and Liam protects me. Later we got married. He told me never to keep secrets from him because we are married and you can't do that when you are married."

Telling me about art class:

"So Liam sits across from me and it's really hard to have your boyfriend sit across from you. You know because we keep on looking at each other and it just makes it really hard to concentrate. I blush, he blushes and I look like a clown. I know all my friends are looking at my tomato face. Mr. Green looks at me and Liam too and I can't concentrate because I don't know what he is thinking. Our faces always blush because that's what happens when you like each other. Maybe our faces blush because we are meant to be. Even if we are I don't like it because it is very embarrassing to do art with a red face."

I'm dying guys. Too freaking funny. 

It Is Normal To Cry

Today I watched fear in my 4 year old daughters eyes. For the first time the concept of school, away from me, hit her. She cried as we toured her classroom and begged to go home. I decided I DON'T want her to miss me while she's at school. It hurts too much.

The questions began, "am I making the wrong decision?" "Is this too much too soon?" "Am I scarring her for life?" "Will she resent me for this choice?" Your answer. Of course not. Most every child goes to school, and heck it's even normal for them to cry. Even with that reassuring answer I am not satisfied. It is something I tell my parents all the time. IT IS NORMAL TO CRY! But when it is my child my heart was broken in 2.

Now I may be slightly dramatic here, because she IS my child. The crying only lasted a min or so until the teacher began story time. She wasn't happy about it at first, but she got drawn in so quickly. When the book was finished they marched the children off (in a somewhat single file line) and us parents sat back having piles of information about prek waiting on us.

I watched my little girl in line. She had on the grumpiest face and as a child tried to cut in line she elbowed her. I cringed wondering if I hadn't prepared her for this well enough. After all she IS my baby. Once she was led out of sight I had an action movie of her beating up the class replaying in my head. It was hard to focus on what was going on as parents quizzed the teachers on daily schedules, lunches, nap time, etc. My skin crawled thinking she was going to be going through this entire 7 hour day and I wouldn't  be apart of it.

After the informational part of open house we got to sit back and talk with other parents. I took the opportunity to take a look around the room my daughter would be spending most of her day time hours in. Wikki stix, books, listening area, blocks, dress up and kitchen (where I am about 100 percent positive she will spend most of her day). It was fascinating watching all these parents gossip about where their child attends dance class, where their child went to daycare, or the "my child hasn't napped since they were 2" chatter and yet not one other parent got up and walked around to see what their children would be doing through the day. I wanted to SEE it for myself. I wanted to know what she comes home talking about and not just nod or have nothing conversational to say back to my daughter. I want to EXPERIENCE it with her, and I can't, and it sucks, and it's hard.

When Kylie started PREK it was fun. It was new and exciting. Kylie took it like a pro. She acted as if she was the ruler of the school and she had shed not even one tiny tear. She has always been braver than I. The kid is delighted, every year, when school comes around. She talks about it non stop over the summer and she gets anxious to get back in the classroom. It wasn't hard when Kylie started Kindergarten. It was fascinating. It was a rite of freaking passage for her to walk through those doors and spend 7 hours in a school where her daddy grew up in. I had a much harder last day of school with Kylie than the first day. That's how Kylie is. That's her personality. She does, she doesn't think about all the things she will miss she thinks about all she will experience and learn. That is the essence of my oldest daughter. She thrives off in dependency and loves being able to come back with stories, although I'm sure embellished, about her days in the classroom.

My youngest child feels all those deep emotions. And it's different for me. I like to swoop in and solve the problem, but this cannot be solved. I know she will only cry for maybe a few minutes the first day of school (it really helps I won't be dropping off), but I still don't want her too. I know in my heart this feeling will pass. I know it's normal to feel this way. I know I am not crazy. She is the baby. PERIOD.

As I headed to room 2 I found my little girl, with her friend Blake, chattering away with a grin on her face. Once the girls spotted us mothers they bounded our way. Madilyn smiled and said, "I really like this school mommy." And that's when I KNEW she will be okay, she will live through this, and forgive me. I just need to keep reminding myself to breathe because at the end of the day she will always believe that pre-kindergarten is cool and that her mommy will always love her.

9 Days...

9 days! NINE DAYS!!! That's how many days left until my girls leave the nest and head back to school. Teachers will be dragging ass to get out of bed and waiting the arrival of children they've never seen before. They will begin establishing rules whether too lenient or too harsh. It's the first day to make a good impression for both teachers and students. Kylie and Madilyn will be dressed alike and Kylie will be given the "please watch out for your sister and don't let anything happen to her" talk. And Madilyn will be given the "you're so grown up I can't believe you are going to PREK" talk. The girls will grab their lunches boxes and head out the door filled with excitement and eagerness to see what their classrooms will be like. John will take them to school that day, and I will head to work, in tears, because I won't have my little squishy in the back seat telling me some crazy story.

I know we made the right decision, I completely know we did. But thinking of Madilyn loving on some other teacher and experiencing a world of new all by herself is sad to me. I am gonna miss my cuddle buddy and hope that she just has the best time. I am torn between wanting her to feel pangs of sadness missing me and then not wanting her to feel any ounce of sadness at all. I guess that's where the jealousy would come in. I know in my heart of hearts I want her to breeze through school, but sometimes I just want her to MISS me. I mean why do I have to torture myself every day at work missing them and they get to enjoy time with their friends and not give me a second thought? Okay, okay I see your point. They are engraved in my heart. So of course I'm gonna be agonizing over every minute while they just enjoy the moment. Mothers are made that way. 

Mothers are in a constant state of worry. In fact I worry so much about my girls I wonder why I would have ever put myself in this position to begin with. Why in the world would anyone WANT to feel like their heart is roaming around outside their body and there is literally nothing you can do to protect it? Will Madilyn be a kind friend this year? Will Kylie use her full potential? Will Madilyn make a good choices? Will Kylie make good choices? Will Madilyn make a forever friend? Will Kylie keep her mouth closed? Will Madilyn be so exhausted by the end of the day she cries and we can't enjoy our time together? Will Kylie be easier to wake up this year and not have such a hard time getting ready? Will school be fun for them? Will they get enough to eat? Will play time be long enough? Will they get a chance to do cool experiments? Just some of the questions racing through my mind as the school year approaches. 

The only thing putting my mind at ease is that I know the girls have meet the teacher day soon. I know I will get a lot of relief just getting walked through the day, meeting some of the kiddos in their respective classrooms and just getting an idea of where they will spend a majority of their day. Kylie's been in Elementary school for quite some time, so you would think I wouldn't be so worried. You'd think I'd be used to her having the hang of things, but I'm not. Not even close. Every year comes a new worry. Every year comes a new teacher and a new classroom and a new group of kids. Every year brings new things to worry about. The unknown. I know, I KNOW they will be fine. I know they will. That's why I picked this school. I know they will  be loved, cared for, and seen, heard because all of those things are important. What I don't know is about the other kids in the classroom. Will they respect my girls? Will they be kind? Will they be a friend or an enemy? It's just the unknown that gets me Every. Single. Year. 

As quickly as these 9 days will fly by I am gonna try and put my fears/worries aside and give it time. Time to adjust to a new schedule, time to get to know all the new faces, time to adjust to all the changes. 

Only one thing is guaranteed every year and it is that I am so glad we picked the girls school that they go too! If anyone can handle the challenge of my crazy kids it's them. 

So I will cast my worries aside for another 9 days and just enjoy the rest of the time we have left all day together. Summer is ending, but a new chapter is beginning. I am excited to see the new changes this new year brings. 

For the first time I am going to ENJOY the rest of the summer and not get caught up in the worries. After all we only have 9 days left to go...

Gone Are The Lazy Summer Days

Summer it's been good knowing you! The lazy, summer days are slowly ending for us as back to school rears its ugly head. My girls are buzzing with excitement. Madilyn asks me everyday to read the list of names of the children on her class role and Kylie is excited that her "boyfriend," Liam is back in her class. My August calendar is already full of school appointments "Madilyn open house, Kylie open house, first day of school, parent night, picture day..." it continues until every day in the month of August is full. Definitely no more lazy summer days. Being home and enjoying the quiet as the girls play, peacefully in the playroom. No more lazy days spent at the pool listening to them giggle and play mermaids. No more lazy summer days spent at the library picking out stacks of books and then going home to cuddle under a blanket and read together. No more sleeping in until we want, no more 25 days of school countdown that we have all thoroughly enjoyed. No more dessert before dinner. No more going to bed whenever we want. Summer break is ending and another school year is beginning.

Our cabinets are starting to fill up with easy to throw in a lunch box food. My heart is starting to get heavy remembering that my baby Madilyn isn't going to school with me. Panic is setting in as I realize the girls only have 10 days til school starts (8 days til I start full time again!) Back packs are being filled with school supplies and the girls are chattering away with what to expect for their first days.

Summer,

You've been good to us. You allowed me the downtime I needed to experience every fleeting moment with my beautiful girls. You gave me time to spend with my husband and get back on the same page. You gave us sun-kissed skin, and lazy pool days. You allowed me all the time in the world to spend with my family and find enjoyment in things I didn't have enough time for as a working mother. I have thoroughly enjoyed catching up on my sleep and reading in my Bible. I have had a chance to keep the house fairly clean! I have appreciated the fact I have a house because we have spent many summer days inside here. I never see my house during the school year except basically to eat dinner and sleep so it has been nice to just lounge around in our pjs and savor the moments. I am so glad my daughters got to have sleepovers to connect with their friends and that I got to take each of my girls out on their own special day. It's been amazing and I know you will come around again next year!

As second grade approaches I'm feeling a little uneasy. Preschool I know. I know Madilyn will get the playtime, the nap time, recess, circle time, show -n- tell etc. But I don't know much of what to expect for second grade. I have gotten several letters for PRE-K but not one thing for second grade. I know it is normal, but it still makes me anxious as the day approaches. I know she will be fine and do great, but second grade just seems so old. 

As the last bits of summer vacation come to an end we wave an avid goodbye to all the summer fun memories and hello to another school year. It will be great. It will be fun. It will be back to our normal. I will fall in love with new students, pass the time away giggling with my coworker and waiting until the clock hits so I can go home to my beautiful daughters. School isn't so bad it gives us all time to be away from each other and learn to grow without each other. It brings us all back at the end of the day to tell stories of our days, to laugh, to fellowship, to be with each other. Those memories are the ones to hold onto. Those memories are what I thrive on. I know my girls are having the time of their lives at school with friends, teachers, and activities. I know my students need me to balance out a very hectic schedule. I know my girls need me to check in and get many hugs and kisses as I get home. 

I promise to see something beautiful in every day. I promise to wake up just a little earlier so I can spend some family time with everyone before the craziness of our days begin, away from each other. I promise to laugh more with my girls than yell. I promise to give John some time for just himself as he needs to unwind from a crazy day at his job. I promise to be more open and not shut them out. I promise to listen more and talk less. I promise that I will make this new year the best one yet. My family deserves it. 

So to this crazy August I say: BRING IT ON!!!!!!  Because gone are the lazy, summer days.