Saturday, August 30, 2014

Excusing Poor Behavior

I'm tired of watching the children of this world suffer because these "educated" parents, aren't really educated. I get it, these spawns of yours are "your babies." But when did coddling become such a huge part of society?

I see it over and over and over again. Parents are not taking the time out of their lives to TEACH their children. They just label them "oh they just won't sit still for this long." "They are really shy." "My child just can't do this if I am not sitting and watching." and it goes on and on and on. Fact: Your child CAN do it without you. If you step back, encourage and allow your child to experience something on their own...yeah they can. You wanna know something else? They have been doing it for generations! I don't believe we have ever heard a time from way back when, when a parent had to be involved in EVERY aspect of their children's lives. Because, guess what, they had this little thing called LIVES. They don't have to hang on their kids every rhyme or reason because they had a life that did NOT revolve 100 percent around their little children.
I also see how parents labeling their children is having an effect on them. Obviously if you say Johnny is having trouble reading over and over and over again you know what? Johnny is going to believe that he is having trouble reading and instead of reading he will say something like this "I have trouble reading so I can't read that!" If you say this about your child "they really can't go to summer camp without me sitting there?" Wanna know what? They will believe they can't go to summer camp without you sitting there and observing. It is a disservice to your children. Stop crippling them, stop pretending they NEED you for every single thing and let them grow. You would be surprised by how much growing they can do without you and yet still have a very close relationship with you. Your child isn't YOU so stop pretending they are!

No kid has ever died from going to school, following directions, having their clipped moved from yellow to red, or (SHOCKER) missing recess. Parents, you need to stop micromanaging your child and trying to control every aspect of their lives. They WILL thank you for it later. Your child will survive, they will learn how to behave and they will gain the confidence in themselves that they will need to be successful in this world. I find it funny how quick parents, and hell even outsiders to the school community, are quick to blame school and teachers for their kids poor behavior and the fact they are unable to control themselves. Example: you have a two year old who misbehaves or "cannot sit" in a restaurant? Instead of teaching your child how to act you don't set any limits or expectations. Instead you hinder said child by placing the label "she can't sit still" and you allow her to scream, act like a heathen, and have no control over the situation because you've given every ounce of control to a tiny, screaming, power hungry 2 year old. The solution would be to set limits and expectations ahead of time you would be surprised what your child can do. My daughter, Madilyn, has acted crazy many, many times over the years in restaurants. Instead of excusing her poor behavior with the "she's two" excuse I removed her. I told her I expected better and until she could stop screaming/running around etc we would not be returning. Her behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and I EXPECT more from her. It took right around a month of doing this over and over again. You know what? She can behave appropriately in a restaurant now and I don't have any poor behavior to apologize for.

Parents, you have GOT to stop making excuses for their behavior and apologizing for it. You are doing your child a disservice in the long run. Stop being lazy, parenting takes a lot of work. Yes, sending my kids to bed at an early time is a lot of work. It means we have to do baths, stories, dinner, teeth brushing and whatever else in a timely manner to make sure they are well rested. My kids don't get the option of staying up late. It is non-negotiable. Because your child wants to play in the street are you going to let them? This idea of giving kids a choice over everything is insane. They don't like dinner? They can eat what is served or not eat at all. It isn't going to kill your kid to have a taste of a vegetable or fruit every now and again. Yes, natural consequences are good too, my child decides to stay awake and play well they are going to be very tired the next day. Stop being your child's friend and freaking parent them. I have a close relationship with my girls, but I don't let them run all over me. They know who is in charge and they are to follow my rules. This is why Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother is in the 10 commandments it does NOT say Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother When it is Convenient for You. Nor does it say Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother but First Question Everything They are Saying.

I guess all I'm trying to say is PARENT and quit coddling and making excuses for poor behavior "oh sorry Bobby was really upset because Kathy broke up with him, but it's okay that he stabbed her he just is having a hard time emotionally dealing with the stress of her leaving him! It's all Kathy's fault if she wouldn't have broken up with him she wouldn't have gotten stabbed..."






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