9 Days...

9 days! NINE DAYS!!! That's how many days left until my girls leave the nest and head back to school. Teachers will be dragging ass to get out of bed and waiting the arrival of children they've never seen before. They will begin establishing rules whether too lenient or too harsh. It's the first day to make a good impression for both teachers and students. Kylie and Madilyn will be dressed alike and Kylie will be given the "please watch out for your sister and don't let anything happen to her" talk. And Madilyn will be given the "you're so grown up I can't believe you are going to PREK" talk. The girls will grab their lunches boxes and head out the door filled with excitement and eagerness to see what their classrooms will be like. John will take them to school that day, and I will head to work, in tears, because I won't have my little squishy in the back seat telling me some crazy story.

I know we made the right decision, I completely know we did. But thinking of Madilyn loving on some other teacher and experiencing a world of new all by herself is sad to me. I am gonna miss my cuddle buddy and hope that she just has the best time. I am torn between wanting her to feel pangs of sadness missing me and then not wanting her to feel any ounce of sadness at all. I guess that's where the jealousy would come in. I know in my heart of hearts I want her to breeze through school, but sometimes I just want her to MISS me. I mean why do I have to torture myself every day at work missing them and they get to enjoy time with their friends and not give me a second thought? Okay, okay I see your point. They are engraved in my heart. So of course I'm gonna be agonizing over every minute while they just enjoy the moment. Mothers are made that way. 

Mothers are in a constant state of worry. In fact I worry so much about my girls I wonder why I would have ever put myself in this position to begin with. Why in the world would anyone WANT to feel like their heart is roaming around outside their body and there is literally nothing you can do to protect it? Will Madilyn be a kind friend this year? Will Kylie use her full potential? Will Madilyn make a good choices? Will Kylie make good choices? Will Madilyn make a forever friend? Will Kylie keep her mouth closed? Will Madilyn be so exhausted by the end of the day she cries and we can't enjoy our time together? Will Kylie be easier to wake up this year and not have such a hard time getting ready? Will school be fun for them? Will they get enough to eat? Will play time be long enough? Will they get a chance to do cool experiments? Just some of the questions racing through my mind as the school year approaches. 

The only thing putting my mind at ease is that I know the girls have meet the teacher day soon. I know I will get a lot of relief just getting walked through the day, meeting some of the kiddos in their respective classrooms and just getting an idea of where they will spend a majority of their day. Kylie's been in Elementary school for quite some time, so you would think I wouldn't be so worried. You'd think I'd be used to her having the hang of things, but I'm not. Not even close. Every year comes a new worry. Every year comes a new teacher and a new classroom and a new group of kids. Every year brings new things to worry about. The unknown. I know, I KNOW they will be fine. I know they will. That's why I picked this school. I know they will  be loved, cared for, and seen, heard because all of those things are important. What I don't know is about the other kids in the classroom. Will they respect my girls? Will they be kind? Will they be a friend or an enemy? It's just the unknown that gets me Every. Single. Year. 

As quickly as these 9 days will fly by I am gonna try and put my fears/worries aside and give it time. Time to adjust to a new schedule, time to get to know all the new faces, time to adjust to all the changes. 

Only one thing is guaranteed every year and it is that I am so glad we picked the girls school that they go too! If anyone can handle the challenge of my crazy kids it's them. 

So I will cast my worries aside for another 9 days and just enjoy the rest of the time we have left all day together. Summer is ending, but a new chapter is beginning. I am excited to see the new changes this new year brings. 

For the first time I am going to ENJOY the rest of the summer and not get caught up in the worries. After all we only have 9 days left to go...