On the inside : Raising Girls

They tell you to hold onto every single moment. That in the blink of an eye they are grown and you are only left with memories. It's true. It is SO true. My kids are only 7 and 4 years old and I still feel it. With every passing hour I can sense that their elementary years will be over and done with, and I am SO not ready.

Mostly, I think I am a good parent. I discipline when needed, even though I HATE that part, and I have rules/routines/fun things we do. I allow my kids enough in-dependency, but I hover when needed. I allow my girls to explore the world at their pace, even though I want them to just hurry up already. I lack patience, but I am working on it.

Kylie Jade turned the big 7 this year. It just doesn't seem possible that 7 years ago I had my first born child. She is a delight! I knew, when I was pregnant with her, that she was going to be special. She is so very special. If only she knew. She is starting to get into this weird age where she feels like TV shows such as Doc Mcstuffins are too young for her, but Liv and Maddie are too old for her. She wants to act old when she is around kids who older, but then she wants to act younger when she's around kids who are younger. Ah, I remember being at those weird elementary ages. You want to appear cooler than you actually are. My job is to help her see that she can be who she is all the time no matter what anyone says to her.

As I am learning the ropes with this parenting thing I see where I could have done better and I am determined to do better with Madilyn Kate. As Mads grows I see where I lack and think "just one more and I will have it perfect!" Right? That would be nice. To do everything perfectly where your child never sees you fall short. Where your child is perfectly perfect in restaurants, at the store, at the playground, or heaven forbid on the soccer field. I could have that athletic child who is just naturally good and has talent in every area. Artist! Actor! Dancer! Gymnast! Pitcher! Cheerleader! Soccer Player! And the list goes on. I don't have that perfect child, and when I really think about it I don't want that perfect child. I want my child to struggle, and I want to be there while she is struggling so she knows she can come to me no matter what! I want my child, who is a pretty darn good gymnast, to work for it. I don't want it to just fall into her lap, I want her to succeed because she WANTED to succeed not because she just had the ability, with no work, to succeed. I want her life to be a struggle within herself. I want her to see that SHE has the power to MAKE herself achieve her goals and not because she was "handed" it by the genetic gods. She needs to see that her parents believe in her, and that we will always be her biggest cheerleaders. I want both my girls to see their beauty. Their natural, no make-up faces and see that they are beautiful, whether one of them has long eye lashes and the other doesn't. I choose not to wear a lot of make-up and I like that I don't. I like that the girls don't see me obsessing in front of a mirror every morning. I like that they see that I don't think outer beauty is as important as inner beauty. I don't care what your face looks like, I care if you are kind, generous, loving, beautiful on the inside. It is an important lesson for me to teach my girls in this self-centred, cruel world we live in.

Having girls is all around awesome. I relate to them, I understand them, and most importantly I have been there. I can just talk to them and they listen and vice versa. My children are no where near sheltered. They know about periods and why we have them, they know about good touch vs bad touch they know the words penis and vagina, because to me it is important for them to know these things. I call their a nose a nose I don't call it nosey wosey, purse, popcorn, anything than what it is. It's a nose. Her vagina is a vagina. This lesson is important when you are raising girls, because the world is bad. You see it everywhere. Rape is always lingering, and having girls you are more aware of the dangers of strangers. Facebook friend requests are screened, because I don't want my girls pictures exposed to hooligan mcgee over there who just likes to touch little girls inappropriately. My girls are aware of their surroundings. I have made them run skits over and over. If someone approaches you and ask you to help him find his cat you say "I have to ask (whoever they are with) first!" Then they are to run. They know this. Having girls you have to be cautious of the entire world around you it is a zoo out there. These young ages are the time to prepare them for what the world is. It is sad, but it is how it is now.

Raising girls is not easy, and I mention Kylie Jade more than her sister because I have had more years to practice this parenting thing. I am not skilled in this area, I fail all the time, and I don't think I will ever be a black belt in parenting. I will always, always, time and time again fall short. Kylie allows me to see my short comings, and my mistakes. I love that she sees them too. She can call me out on them, and that's when it is my turn to apologize for overreacting.

I guess my, not so sound, advice to wrap up this post is to enjoy the moments. They are gone too fast. Next year I will have an upper elementary student, and that is just crazy talk! The years fly by and no matter how hard you try and make them stay the same, they won't. Enjoy the toddler years where you are chasing them around the house to put on a diaper, enjoy the years when they want to lay in your arms to snuggle. Slow down, enjoy them. I no longer have toddlers and I miss those chubby cheeked grins, and the stumbling over as they learned to walk. I willed away those years and now they are gone and I will never get them back. Enjoy your children. They are only little once!