Another End

Today marked the end of First Grade for Kylie and Preschool for Madilyn. How did this happen? Wasn't Kylie just that little bundle cuddled up in the swing in the corner of the room? My how she has grown! Seven is just around the corner for her, and it just seems like yesterday I brought her home from the hospital. When people say to cherish the years you have with your children they weren't kidding. This year has been a struggle in some ways and has been just everything I could ask for in other ways.

I started the year off with high hopes and, naturally, as life wore on me my enthusiasm began to dissipate. School days were long, lunches and snacks to be packed were a hassle and I just couldn't wait to get to the end. Because the end always means that something new is around the corner. Boy, I wish I hadn't willed away the days. Time is important, and especially for someone who is constantly on the go like I am.

I made it! My first official class of Preschool and Prekindergarten has come and gone. I never realized how full my heart could get. When I met my husband it was love. I felt like I could never love anyone as much as I loved him. Along came Kylie and she changed my world, and my view of love. I don't love her more than her dad, but I love her in a different way. I was in heaven when she was born I felt like my heart was at capacity with those two...and then came Madilyn. My heart is overflowing. I never thought I could have any more room in my heart. Now that I have had 17 wonderful students I realize my heart can continue to receive love. My those kids each hold something special. My memories of them may fade over time, but I will never forget them. I had a wonderful class, and though at times made me rethink my decision to be a teacher, but they will always be a part of me, a part of my story.

As I watched my students graduate/promote onto their new grades I got teary eyed. Those are my babies! No one knows how they have changed me and how happy I am that everyone trusted me with their children! Today I felt God's calling strong in me. This is what I am meant to do! I am meant to mold minds, shape children, and give back to the world. This is my calling. This is my passion!

With the end of the school year comes the end of my daughter, Madilyn, being in school with me. When I first made the decision to enroll her in Annoor Academy I was hesitant. It is an Islamic school after all and I wasn't so sure I wanted her raised around this environment. Boy was I wrong! Although they do believe some things that I do not, I have found that Madilyn really grew over this past year. I have seen her learn to count, figure out all her colors and shapes, and even make friends with children who didn't share in her faith. It is amazing. You put in a Christian in a pool of Muslims and they play. Just like they have known each other forever. There is beauty in this world. I saw it with Jannat and Madilyn. It is beautiful. Love is beautiful. I watched my daughter strive to be a better person and it was more than I could have asked for. She made friends with children I was scared to pronounce their names. She loved them right off the bat when I was nervous to join them. It is what Christianity is all about. Love. It is what Islam is all about. Love. Madilyn taught me not to be afraid, but to embrace this world around me. I was really nervous starting a new school that didn't even share in the same faith with me. I found that these people are wonderful! I couldn't have asked for better co-workers. They believed in me, they trusted me and they have all grown on me. I have learned to open up to new ideas, new people, and things that may seem a little different or scary to me. These people are just like me. They hurt the same, they love the same. God placed me here for a reason and I am forever thankful for that.

It's the end! My girls made it through another year (and Madilyn's first year of real school) and I made it too. This summer will be filled with relaxation, because we all deserve it. Even though school is over the learning NEVER stops! We will continue working on skills and improving. Here's to another wonderful summer!

Today was an end, but it is also a new beginning!

 

Ms. Dana and Madilyn.

 

Madilyn with her promotion certificate

 

Last day of school no time to be serious

 

First and last day of Preschool

 

First and last day of First Grade

 

Goof balls

Another Year...

Another year has come and gone. My baby is no longer a baby. It happened. And even though 4 years old is still really young, she is in that preschool age where she is becoming hella more independent.

Madilyn loves math! Who knew? I hate math. I. HATE. MATH. No questions about it, math is not my subject, never has been. But Madilyn loves it. She has a little math workbook that she asks everyday if she can "count" and do "problems." Before she turned 4 she was counting to 39 (which is the TN state standard for those entering into Kindergarten!) She thrives off math. She learned recently that 2+2=4. She feels like a genius. She would say to her friends at school, I know that 2+2=4 and she would smile and ask, "right momma?" Correct. I love seeing her make connections and learning. It is so fun for me!

As her birthday edged closer I was getting excited. 4 brings on a whole new world! She will be starting Prekindergarten in the fall (which she is totally excited for) and she has recently learned to write Madilyn all by herself without my telling her what the letters look like. I am proud of her. She scored really high on her brigance testing (the second highest in the class and she is with Prek3 and Prek4 this year). And although I think that test is a little silly I am still proud of her. She soaks in knowledge. Everywhere she goes.

4 is the stage of incessant questions. Which can be really annoying or really fun. She has been asking about all kinds of things lately. "Why am I not a baby?" "Why does my body grow all the time?" "What was I like when I was a baby?" "When will I go to CCS with my sister?" "Will I be scared?" "Will we get to play?" etc. etc. I can get annoyed with all the questions at time, but I would never tell her that or show her that. Asking questions is how you learn. I want her to learn about the world, and herself. What better way to do that than to answer her questions.

Her birthday has come and gone. She is officially a 4 year old. It was like a rite of passage for her. She celebrated a few days before her birthday with an incredible "Frozen" themed birthday party. She loved it. She had a bounce house, food, pinata, Pin the Nose on Olaf game and Elsa came. She told me later that was the "best birthday ever!" As stressful as the balloons, Elsa and the inflatable people were it was totally worth it to see her face. She got to play with her friends, eat the most beautiful birthday cake I've ever seen, and open presents. Speaking of presents I like to have Madilyn open her gifts in front of everyone because she is hilarious. She genuinely loves everything she gets and she is the most thankful kid I have ever seen while opening gifts. She squeals with delight and her eyes light up.

On her birthday we had to go to school. She attends an Islamic School so "birthday" is a taboo word. She isn't allowed to celebrate at school, unfortunately with her friends, but it didn't stop her. "Guys I'm 4! Today is my birthday!" Her teacher, Ms. Dana, even gave her a big birthday hug. Madilyn was on cloud 9. "I'm not a little baby any more I am a big girl, and I am 4!" She is so proud of that mark. I am too.

After school I took her to the store to spend her birthday money she got at her party. She was in that store for over an hour carefully selecting her goodies. She cracks me up because she is so different than Kylie Jade is. Kylie rushes through everything, never thinks through her purchases and gets the first thing she sees that she wants. Madilyn went through every toy/book/movie TWICE. She grabbed a few toys and asked me to put them in the buggy, but she didn't want to get them yet she still had to look. She picked out Sofia the First Amulet pretty quickly. She said she needed it to go with her dress up dress. In the buggy the Amulet went. As she walked up and down each isle she would press buttons on toys, pick up a box and inspect the item. She got to the fake puppy isle. There were several dogs in that section she picked up each dog, pressed the button and checked out the little jewels they came with. She picked out the brown one and asked "do I have enough money to buy this and the amulet?" I told her she did and she'd have money leftover. She was so excited. Back to the books we went. She looked at each Frozen book, a few coloring books and then she found it Sofia the first with a magic wand. She picked it up and asked, "is this too expensive?" Nope it was on sale from 14.99 to 4.48 and she had just enough. She was so satisfied telling me she was ready for her birthday dinner at Moes. It was awesome. While the lady scanned the items she asked Madilyn why she had a crown on. "BECAUSE I'M FOUR TODAY!" She shouted. The lady placed all her items in a bag and Madilyn handed over the cash/gift card. "Thank you," she exclaimed as she grabbed her bags and headed towards the exit! Watching this I couldn't help but smile. Madilyn has really come out of her shell this year. She has become so much more independent. She makes total eye contact when she has a conversation and she can respond appropriately. I can't believe she is 4 years old. It seems so BIG!

On another note school is ready to get out which means SUMMER is right around the corner. I could not be more excited!!! I am taking on a summer job this year, but I am only working 8-1 so the shift isn't long and not bad hours. The girls were excited because they want to do summer camp. Madilyn especially says she is ready. I allowed each girl to pick out a few things they are interested in (Kylie is doing more camps, but she is a little older and is used to being on the go I really want Madilyn to several weeks to just relax and enjoy her break before PREK without me starts!) So we've been researching for several weeks. Kylie Jade already knew she wanted to take on the 3 gymnastics camps this year! She had made up her mind when the schedule came out that she was going. Madilyn expressed interest in dance camp. I found one at Scenic City (which is where we intend to put her in lessons this fall) and a Disney Princess dance camp at another stuido. She was so excited, but I was hesitant to put her in two classes especially since Kylie will not be joining her in dance camp. She said she wanted to go. So I signed her up for both dance camps and paid the deposits. As we entered in the first dance camp she looked around and found the ballet bar. She grabbed onto the bar and started doing demi plies. I definitely think she is going to be a dancer, I am just hoping we find the right studio for her.

I made a list of camps. Madilyn will be attending two separate dance camps and a VBS/CHEER camp at lifesport. Lifesport is a free camp we do every year. This will be Kylie's 3rd year attending this camp. Kylie is of course doing the VBS/CHEER camp wit her sister and she picked 3 gymnastics camp, VBS camp at Silverdale and Cheer camp at her school CCS. We had contemplated Madilyn doing Little Charger camp, but the camp prices there are ridiculous so we asked her if she wanted to do CCS camp and she said only CCS cheer camp (which is for Kindergarten and up) so we opted out of that camp for her.

Of course with summer break means BEACH VACATION! John, myself and the girls are so ready for Hilton Head. We are leaving for Hilton Head on Kylie Jade's 7th birthday! She was a little sad to hear we would be spending most of her birthday in the car, but after we told her she gets to pick dinner in a new place she got really excited! I cannot wait for the sun, the waves, the sand, and some relaxation! After the girls took swim lessons this summer they both feel way more confident in the water and Kylie can basically swim in the deep end without anyone with her (but you bet she will have a parent in there with her). I have been mentally making checklists in my head of all the things we need to bring. Bathing suits, goggles, swim sticks, towels, changes of clothes, and of course food. We are going to buy food here to transport over there so we don't waste time grocery shopping when we should be hanging out in our condo/beaching it up! My girls are very excited about the beach trip. They keep asking when we get to go! Kylie Jade said it will be the best birthday ever because she will get to see the beach!

Before her birthday we will be doing a party for her, of course. I am trying not to stress out if people come they come. If they don't they don't. Kylie decided on a gymnastics party this year, and it has been so peaceful. Madilyn's party was very stressful, but this one will be smooth sailing.

We are wrapping up this weekend with a sleepover! Kylie Jade's friend, Mary Jane, is here! She is not able to make it to the party so Kylie got to have her over for a night! She is absolutely estatic to have her here with us! As we edge closer to the last week of school we prepare for Kylie's school party. She picked out a ton of doughnuts to share with her classmates so I'm leaving work early Monday to bring goodies during last recess. She is so ready! 2nd grade is right around the corner. She has done so great this year and I have seen a huge improvement in her grades/attitude/etc. I cannot wait to see what the next school year brings.

I'm going to wrap up this post since I've been working on it forever. I need to get the girls off the TV and we are gonna see if the rain will stop so we can go do something fun before MJ leaves.

 

the present table at madilyn's party

 

pinata

 

hannah and kylie jade with elsa

 

the girls before the party in the bounce house

 

someone got to be calendar helper on her birthday 

 

parker and madilyn best friends

 

mj and kylie jade during their sleepover

 

madilyn celebrating her 4th birthday with chocolate chip pancakes and candles

 

madilyn got the bike she wanted

 

moes dinner for the birthday girl

 

party favors

 

olaf game

 

hugging her doll

 

best facial expressions ever

 

the shopping she did with her own money

 

check this face out

 

elsa cake

 

balloons

 

she loves her new scooter

 

cupcakes

 

gym friends

 

my tumbling queen

 

blowing out her candles

 

shopping at target

 

birthday sleepover for kylie jade

 

food table

 

madilyn and elsa

 

most of the girls

 

collage of my four year old

Count down

The count down is on. 14 days til Madilyn Kate's 4th birthday party, 16 days til she turns 4, 27 days til I am done with work for the summer, and the girls are done with school, 28 days til Kylie's birthday party and mine and John's 8th marriage anniversary, 35 days til her 7th birthday and we leave for vacation!

May is such an overwhelmingly busy month. I am so excited for the girls birthdays, my anniversary, and vacation. I am ready to watch my girls explore another year at the beach!

As much as I am looking forward to lazy summer days, I am very sad to be seeing my class graduate. It is such an emotional time to watch my kiddos get their "diplomas" and move onto Kindergarten. I've been with these kids for 9 mths and they really grow on you after time.

I am also getting super emotional that another school year is ending for the girls sake. It doesn't really seem possible that Kylie Jade is going to be in 2nd grade. I remember her being a baby and I would tell people she was going to go to CCS when she was old enough and now we are here. She's been there for 2 years now and it just seems so crazy. I remember the Kindergarten assessment, Kindergarten round-up day, and her very first day of Kindergarten. I felt like I blinked and she grew up on me. Second grade is where the homework begins and they stop being so little. I am so happy to see what the new school year will bring, but so sad for the times she grew up way too fast.
Not only do I have to be sad about Kylie moving to another grade Madilyn Kate is at a real school this year and K3 is ending and she will be starting K4 in the fall. Prekindergarten? How is she already old enough for this? CCS opened a PREK 4 up this year so in the fall she will be joining big sister at CCS for prek. I am so excite for her because I feel like this is a great opportunity for her and a wonderful environment for her for her PREK year. It is just so bittersweet that it is already time to be thinking about it. Every year they get older and every year more and more moments begin to add up in the same month. I am proud of my girls and so excited to see what next year brings us all together. I cannot believe May 1st will be on Friday!

Well I gotta head off to go get the girls to their swim class and meet a friend afterward. I will leave you with a few pics.

still my gymnast 

swim day

goof ball at school

madilyn at swim with blake 

my sweet girl 

first grade hall for the rain forest project

she found a caterpillar at school

Spring Days

SPRING!

It is finally here. The cold days are dissipating and the warm weather is coming in! The grass is slowly turning from brown and dead to green and alive! Yellow flowers (or weeds) are popping out all over the lawn and it is beautiful. Longer days have come and that means more outside time. The driveway has been full of chalky creative thoughts sprawled out in colorful form. The bikes are back in use and the trampoline has been bounced and flipped on more and more each day.

There is something so exciting and thrilling about spring. The bees come out of hibernation and begin to scare people all around. The birds burst out into beautiful song as the breeze blows warmth. I can smell the freshly cut grass after it has been mowed and everything just feels so peaceful.

My girls are definitely enjoying the any playgrounds we have around the area. As soon as their feet touch the pavement from a long day of school they are out and running. Kylie can be seen doing round off back hand springs all over the lawn and Madilyn chases Kylie and attempts cartwheels. I just love this time of year. I can feel our family grow closer together as the dreary, dark winter days fade away.

As Easter is fast approaching I have made a vow to show my girls and my husband how much I love them each day. Whether it is encouragement through words, getting them each something special, or just expressing myself through writings or touch. I want them to feel God's presence in every moment.

Our spring break has officially started. The girls are outside, of course, even though today is on the colder side of spring. I have done numerous loads of laundry, put away dishes and cleaned and scrubbed the girls water bottles. This spring break will bring many fun memories as Kylie Jade makes her first official trip to the American Girl store. It is just going to be a me and Kylie day! I haven't gotten to spend much time with her and I am so excited we get to share most of the day together. We have many plans with friends and family and Easter will be awesome! We will get to hear, what is sure to be, a very powerful sermon and we will get to enjoy time with our extended family. I hope that these days are filled with minimal grief and a lot of fun.

I will leave you with a few springy pictures!

rock climbing at one of her favorite playgrounds 

my beautiful girls ready for school 

tumbling class 

she has my heart <3

Best Friends 

hanging on the trampoline 

How to NOT Raise Your Children

I am no expert. No, really, I'm not. I make plenty of mistakes with my girls, and they continue to pile on. Failures, heart break, yelling, slamming doors, the whole nine yards.

When did life get so complicated?

I have learned a lot through these young years. I have learned to apologize for the mistakes I have made (and will continue to do so in the future from the mistakes I will continue to make!) I have learned that I am not always right, that my children need someone to lean on, and that when they hurt...they HURT!

I have learned, through King David in the Bible, that being a passive parent is WRONG. Yes, I said it. IT IS WRONG. King David was absent in his older children's lives and he parented passively. He didn't set boundaries. EVER. His daughter, Tamar, got raped by his oldest son, Amnon because of this. Children will never set boundaries, that is why God has called us to parent our little spawns. They are sinners, they are selfish, and they are one track minded to please themselves. It is our job, as parents, to say "no." Children should not be allowed to make up the rules for this reason. They need consistency. Rules tell the child that they are loved. I am not saying go all drill sergeant on them, but realize that children thrive on those routines, consistency, your love.

Children need discipline. God has called us, as his children, to discipline with love. Don't beat, abuse, or hurt your child to make a point. There are ways to discipline with love. I have failed at this a lot. Sometimes it is easier to scream "BE QUIET!" or "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" When those little boogers won't stop fighting, arguing, and picking on each other. I have to hold my tongue quite often and realize that I need to step back away from myself when I get the urge to freak out. God called me to discipline the children He gave to  me in LOVE. I always try and back track in these lost moments to apologize for the wrong that I did. I need them to see me fail. I am human, I will make mistakes, and I will continue to always make mistakes, but I don't have to repeatedly make the same mistakes over and over again. God called me to discipline in LOVE.

Plenty of passive parents are active in their children's lives, but many are not. We are called to be active in our children's lives. That does not mean our world has to revolve around them and every breath I breathe has to hang on their very presence. I am called to care about my children. Whether it be when they are hurting and need me to console them, or to celebrate them in times of celebration.

When they hurt I need to hurt for them. I have been bad about saying "you're alright" or "don't look at her when she's hurt because she will come running to me and it's no big deal." HURT! She's hurting and I am her mother and she SHOULD be able to run to me in times of distress. Whether it be emotional or physical it is my duty to wrap my arms around them, hurt with them, cry with them, and help find a solution. I want my girls to know that I am always there for them. King David was not there. When Amnon raped his daughter, she was hurting, and he let her go. She ran to live with her brother Absalom because her absent father couldn't console her. I need to learn from David's mistakes passively parenting, and being absent is NOT what God called us to do.

Reconcile with your child. They need to know when they make a mistake you will always be there. When Absalom killed his brother Amnon because of what he did to their sister. Absalom fled. King David had the correct emotions in wanting his son to come back and make forgiveness, but he chose to do NOTHING with it. His son rebelled and King David lost Absalom to war. Life doesn't have to be like this. It is wrong. I am no better than my children. I make mistakes, I fail, I fall, I hurt just like they do. Children need to know that you are proud of them and love them. They thrive off of that feeling. I need my kids to know that they will always have my heart. I do not want to halfheartedly  forgive. Saying things like, "I forgive you, but I will never trust you again." This isn't right. That isn't forgiveness. We are to forgive as we have been forgiven. It is our duty to show our children that we will take every opportunity to fully forgive and reconcile with them.

Children need us to be there. Every parents role is to listen, to advise, to love, to reconcile, to forgive, to discipline, to console and to BE THERE. They need you. Children desire your presence and approval. They seek it. They thrive from it. Many parents do not do this. They throw things at their children and expect it to be enough. Things ARE NOT enough. THEY NEED YOU!

If there is anything I have learned today it is to say no to the unreasonable requests, get to know my children's friends (because we all know that friend influence can help our children grow or hurt them in the long run), and to constantly be there in every way for them. I do not want to be a passive parent I want to be an active parent.

I am no better than you. I have given in when it was easier. I have laughed at their hurt. I have been absent when they needed me most. I know I will not always be the best me that I can be, but I hope my children know that I died trying.

Make today count because tomorrow is no guarantee.