After All We Are Only Little Once

As I sat in the chair listening to all the things Kylie's Kindergarten teacher had to say about her. 

I had this pit of the stomach feeling like I was back in high school about to be reprimanded for bad behavior yet again.

As I sat on the other side, as a parent and no longer a lost student I felt a little ill and sick like how has the time flown so fast that I am 26 years old with a Kindergartener? 

The feeling I couldn't shake of desperation for the years that are flying all too quickly away from me.

My youth, their youth and the new firsts we are embarking on. 

Wasn't I just at the school helping out as a student aide instead of a parent? 

Wasn't the dreams and hopes of my child one day becoming a CCS student so far in the distance it was somewhat laughable that I was even imagining it? 

Here it is, the reality I have to accept and come to terms with.

I am no longer a kid and motherhood has chose me and it is time to move forward no matter how much I sometimes long to go backwards. 

As my girls are growing and learning and becoming their own little people with their own personalities, interests, and opinions I find myself grasping at straws. 

Why did God make the world to where children are little for such a short while?

It seems like just yesterday I was a kid whom, in all her stubbornness, still didn't realize what the world was really like outside of my rich little bubble. 

As far as I was concerned life would go exactly as I had mapped out in my head...oh boy what a disappointment that was. 

I am always so dramatic about how drastically a day can change my child and how with a blink they have grown from infancy into walking, talking toddlers/school aged children. 

Sitting in that chair today on the other side of the totem pole I realized how fast my life is changing. 

In 7 short years since graduation day my life has completely been turned upside down. 

As much as I love my girls with every fiber of my being, my life didn't quite turn out as I had once planned and hoped for. 

As much as I feel unprepared for this school journey as the parent role. 

I somehow feel at peace that I least know the people who are involved in her education at the school. 

I know they say the first year of school is always the hardest on the parents, but I think it's even harder on John and I knowing that it wasn't long ago we were walking down those hallways heading to class as carefree teenagers. 

Life flies so quickly and I want to teach my children to embrace it. 

After all they are only little once.