In the middle of the chaos I learned to blend in early
There was never enough energy to go around
I’d slip right through the cracks
Never held accountable for my mistakes
Never learned life lessons
Everyone was growing
I was staying the same
No growth, no understanding, no motivation
Haven’t healed from the crippling anxiety
Haven’t come to terms with the failures
Wasn’t one to break the mold
Only the one to stir up the trouble so someone could understand what was going on inside
Fight or flight and I flew like the wind
Haven’t turned back and I’m still running
Cuts to explain the pain
Weed to fog my brain
There’s just a hole and everyone can see through me
The thing that is missing
It’s always been a part of me
Never knowing what felt safe
Just wanting someone to understand me
Understand my fucked up mind
Understand what I can’t even see
There are those people that just keep spiraling
There’s got to be an end
Maybe, somehow, there’s a happy ending for me after all
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