First time Kylie Jade starts Kindergarten.
Her first time ever going to real school.
Her first time walking down the hallway to go to school for the first time.
Her first smiles and giggles with her friends.
First time eating her home brought lunch in the cafeteria.
Her first time feeling that small pain when you miss your mommy.
Her first time meeting her classmates.
My first time watching her go and realizing this is where she is gonna be most of her life.
The first time seeing her wave her hand and sending her off away from me the majority of the day.
The first time feeling uncomfortable and worried that she would get lost or cry for me.
My first time really starting to let go of her and be her own person.
I am so proud to call CCS her home away from home, but I have been wondering if it gets any easier?
Why does parenting have to be full of so many bitter sweet moments?
Why do I have to let go of my little girl?
Why can't she just be that bouncy toddler just one last time?
As I gathered her in my arms at pick up and she was all smiles I know this is right.
It doesn't get easier, so I hear, so I am trying my hardest to cherish this moment.
The sparkle in her eye, the wanting me to come around, the "I miss yous" and "I love yous."
Pretty soon they will be few and far between.
Right now I hold her little hand and before long her hands will be holding her steering wheel.
Not long from now her life will be sleepovers, secrets and boys.
I will be on the outside looking in during those years.
Only when she becomes a mother will she understand exactly how I feel for her and her sister.
My whole heart is theirs.
Every breathe, every tear, every beat of my heart is for them.
It's so hard for me to let go.
Watching her wave bye to me I really felt like I lost, just a little bit more of, my very best friend.
I still can't believe it. That the time has actual come for her to be in school. But at least you know you love CCS and she is safe there. I hope everything continues to go smoothly for you guys!
ReplyDeleteme too =( i just feel like i lost my best friend a little today...and no matter how tight i hold onto her she is drifting into her own person. i just keep telling myself that this is normal. but it's the selfish mothering part of me.
Delete