Count down

The count down is on. 14 days til Madilyn Kate's 4th birthday party, 16 days til she turns 4, 27 days til I am done with work for the summer, and the girls are done with school, 28 days til Kylie's birthday party and mine and John's 8th marriage anniversary, 35 days til her 7th birthday and we leave for vacation!

May is such an overwhelmingly busy month. I am so excited for the girls birthdays, my anniversary, and vacation. I am ready to watch my girls explore another year at the beach!

As much as I am looking forward to lazy summer days, I am very sad to be seeing my class graduate. It is such an emotional time to watch my kiddos get their "diplomas" and move onto Kindergarten. I've been with these kids for 9 mths and they really grow on you after time.

I am also getting super emotional that another school year is ending for the girls sake. It doesn't really seem possible that Kylie Jade is going to be in 2nd grade. I remember her being a baby and I would tell people she was going to go to CCS when she was old enough and now we are here. She's been there for 2 years now and it just seems so crazy. I remember the Kindergarten assessment, Kindergarten round-up day, and her very first day of Kindergarten. I felt like I blinked and she grew up on me. Second grade is where the homework begins and they stop being so little. I am so happy to see what the new school year will bring, but so sad for the times she grew up way too fast.
Not only do I have to be sad about Kylie moving to another grade Madilyn Kate is at a real school this year and K3 is ending and she will be starting K4 in the fall. Prekindergarten? How is she already old enough for this? CCS opened a PREK 4 up this year so in the fall she will be joining big sister at CCS for prek. I am so excite for her because I feel like this is a great opportunity for her and a wonderful environment for her for her PREK year. It is just so bittersweet that it is already time to be thinking about it. Every year they get older and every year more and more moments begin to add up in the same month. I am proud of my girls and so excited to see what next year brings us all together. I cannot believe May 1st will be on Friday!

Well I gotta head off to go get the girls to their swim class and meet a friend afterward. I will leave you with a few pics.

still my gymnast 

swim day

goof ball at school

madilyn at swim with blake 

my sweet girl 

first grade hall for the rain forest project

she found a caterpillar at school

Spring Days

SPRING!

It is finally here. The cold days are dissipating and the warm weather is coming in! The grass is slowly turning from brown and dead to green and alive! Yellow flowers (or weeds) are popping out all over the lawn and it is beautiful. Longer days have come and that means more outside time. The driveway has been full of chalky creative thoughts sprawled out in colorful form. The bikes are back in use and the trampoline has been bounced and flipped on more and more each day.

There is something so exciting and thrilling about spring. The bees come out of hibernation and begin to scare people all around. The birds burst out into beautiful song as the breeze blows warmth. I can smell the freshly cut grass after it has been mowed and everything just feels so peaceful.

My girls are definitely enjoying the any playgrounds we have around the area. As soon as their feet touch the pavement from a long day of school they are out and running. Kylie can be seen doing round off back hand springs all over the lawn and Madilyn chases Kylie and attempts cartwheels. I just love this time of year. I can feel our family grow closer together as the dreary, dark winter days fade away.

As Easter is fast approaching I have made a vow to show my girls and my husband how much I love them each day. Whether it is encouragement through words, getting them each something special, or just expressing myself through writings or touch. I want them to feel God's presence in every moment.

Our spring break has officially started. The girls are outside, of course, even though today is on the colder side of spring. I have done numerous loads of laundry, put away dishes and cleaned and scrubbed the girls water bottles. This spring break will bring many fun memories as Kylie Jade makes her first official trip to the American Girl store. It is just going to be a me and Kylie day! I haven't gotten to spend much time with her and I am so excited we get to share most of the day together. We have many plans with friends and family and Easter will be awesome! We will get to hear, what is sure to be, a very powerful sermon and we will get to enjoy time with our extended family. I hope that these days are filled with minimal grief and a lot of fun.

I will leave you with a few springy pictures!

rock climbing at one of her favorite playgrounds 

my beautiful girls ready for school 

tumbling class 

she has my heart <3

Best Friends 

hanging on the trampoline 

How to NOT Raise Your Children

I am no expert. No, really, I'm not. I make plenty of mistakes with my girls, and they continue to pile on. Failures, heart break, yelling, slamming doors, the whole nine yards.

When did life get so complicated?

I have learned a lot through these young years. I have learned to apologize for the mistakes I have made (and will continue to do so in the future from the mistakes I will continue to make!) I have learned that I am not always right, that my children need someone to lean on, and that when they hurt...they HURT!

I have learned, through King David in the Bible, that being a passive parent is WRONG. Yes, I said it. IT IS WRONG. King David was absent in his older children's lives and he parented passively. He didn't set boundaries. EVER. His daughter, Tamar, got raped by his oldest son, Amnon because of this. Children will never set boundaries, that is why God has called us to parent our little spawns. They are sinners, they are selfish, and they are one track minded to please themselves. It is our job, as parents, to say "no." Children should not be allowed to make up the rules for this reason. They need consistency. Rules tell the child that they are loved. I am not saying go all drill sergeant on them, but realize that children thrive on those routines, consistency, your love.

Children need discipline. God has called us, as his children, to discipline with love. Don't beat, abuse, or hurt your child to make a point. There are ways to discipline with love. I have failed at this a lot. Sometimes it is easier to scream "BE QUIET!" or "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" When those little boogers won't stop fighting, arguing, and picking on each other. I have to hold my tongue quite often and realize that I need to step back away from myself when I get the urge to freak out. God called me to discipline the children He gave to  me in LOVE. I always try and back track in these lost moments to apologize for the wrong that I did. I need them to see me fail. I am human, I will make mistakes, and I will continue to always make mistakes, but I don't have to repeatedly make the same mistakes over and over again. God called me to discipline in LOVE.

Plenty of passive parents are active in their children's lives, but many are not. We are called to be active in our children's lives. That does not mean our world has to revolve around them and every breath I breathe has to hang on their very presence. I am called to care about my children. Whether it be when they are hurting and need me to console them, or to celebrate them in times of celebration.

When they hurt I need to hurt for them. I have been bad about saying "you're alright" or "don't look at her when she's hurt because she will come running to me and it's no big deal." HURT! She's hurting and I am her mother and she SHOULD be able to run to me in times of distress. Whether it be emotional or physical it is my duty to wrap my arms around them, hurt with them, cry with them, and help find a solution. I want my girls to know that I am always there for them. King David was not there. When Amnon raped his daughter, she was hurting, and he let her go. She ran to live with her brother Absalom because her absent father couldn't console her. I need to learn from David's mistakes passively parenting, and being absent is NOT what God called us to do.

Reconcile with your child. They need to know when they make a mistake you will always be there. When Absalom killed his brother Amnon because of what he did to their sister. Absalom fled. King David had the correct emotions in wanting his son to come back and make forgiveness, but he chose to do NOTHING with it. His son rebelled and King David lost Absalom to war. Life doesn't have to be like this. It is wrong. I am no better than my children. I make mistakes, I fail, I fall, I hurt just like they do. Children need to know that you are proud of them and love them. They thrive off of that feeling. I need my kids to know that they will always have my heart. I do not want to halfheartedly  forgive. Saying things like, "I forgive you, but I will never trust you again." This isn't right. That isn't forgiveness. We are to forgive as we have been forgiven. It is our duty to show our children that we will take every opportunity to fully forgive and reconcile with them.

Children need us to be there. Every parents role is to listen, to advise, to love, to reconcile, to forgive, to discipline, to console and to BE THERE. They need you. Children desire your presence and approval. They seek it. They thrive from it. Many parents do not do this. They throw things at their children and expect it to be enough. Things ARE NOT enough. THEY NEED YOU!

If there is anything I have learned today it is to say no to the unreasonable requests, get to know my children's friends (because we all know that friend influence can help our children grow or hurt them in the long run), and to constantly be there in every way for them. I do not want to be a passive parent I want to be an active parent.

I am no better than you. I have given in when it was easier. I have laughed at their hurt. I have been absent when they needed me most. I know I will not always be the best me that I can be, but I hope my children know that I died trying.

Make today count because tomorrow is no guarantee.

Lord, I Need You

I want this year to be Christ-Centered. Today, in my walk of faith, I made the decision to pray every night with the girls. We pray all together and then I say a prayer over each of them separately. I want them to grow up with a strong foundation for the love of Our Lord. As I prayed over them Madilyn expressed so much love. She stroked my face, saying her thank yous for loving her so much! Kylie Jade asked many questions about the prayer I prayed for her. One of the things I mentioned was when she feels overwhelmed let her know she can call on Your name and You will always be there to guide her and help her through all her obstacles. We got into a very lovely conversation about what overwhelmed means and how come, because God knows our needs, that we need to call on Him. I explained to her that whenever she is feeling lonely, sad, happy, excited etc. that she wants to share that with someone and if she had no one to share that with how would that make her feel? She responded with "mad, maybe frustrated, a little sad, make me feel a little lonely in my heart!" Right. She gets it! If we feel that way that is how Our God feels when He isn't talked too, listened too, or intimate with. God wants you to come to Him with any troubles, thanks, etc. you may be feeling.

"The good news about the pressures we face in life today is the same spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead wants to raise us up and above our pressures." -Unknown

I heard this today and it was as if Randy Thomas was speaking directly to me. His sermon was powerful and went straight to my heart. The pressures of this world definitely have made God go on the back burner, but He wants me to trouble Him, burden Him because He can help I just need to call on His name! Cast all my troubles, doubts, fears and worries on Him and He will come through. It may not always be what I want, when I want, or how I want, but He will answer and there is ALWAYS a reason for everything.

"It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, He'll do the same thing in you that He did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you, you are delivered from that dead life. With this Spirit living in you, your body will be alive as Christ's."   -Romans 8:11

This is just amazing. Right there in black and white for His people to see. He is alive and present. Always. Forever. We just need to remember that. When life gets tough and you just want to scream or, perhaps, you feel so alone you can call on Him. He will bring you to life! It is written for us to devour. He is there. He is present. He is alive and truly, we can be truly fulfilled through Him.

"Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and He will lift you up in due time. Throw all your troubles on Him, for He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:6-7

In my 27 years of life I have NEVER humbled myself. I am proud, independent and like to think I can handle everything on my own. Recently I have seen how destructive that attitude is. I can't think like this anymore. I don't have it all under control. I am NOT in charge. God is. He is always in charge. He has my life, whether I accept that or not, it is not mine to throw away on pride. God cares for me? Little old me? HE CARES FOR ME? I never feel worthy of His love. I have struggled with this for many years. I know Jesus died on the cross for MY SINS, but why? Why would my sins be worth His pain? How can I even face Him in heaven knowing I caused Him pain? Because He has my best interest at heart. BIG or small He is concerned about EVERYTHING. I just need to shove my pride, fears, doubts and worries aside and call on His name. He will be there. Always. Forever.

"Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourself long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourself the way Jesus Christ thought of Himself. -Philippians 2:4-5

This touches a little bit on my last blog post. In there I stated I want to be there for people more, be a helping hand and not complain about it. I may have not said it in those words, but that is exactly what I meant. I want to be called on just like God wants us to call upon Him. I need to be a blessing in this world of pain. It is time for me to quit worrying about myself. I need to focus on lending a hand versus what I can get out of the situation. I am not all that matters in this world. I am supposed to be a follower of Christ, not just a fan. I am called to be Christ-like even when it isn't convenient for me. I need to be the blessing.

"That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not to be served-and then to give away His life in exchange for many who are held hostage." -Mark 10:45

He came to serve, not to be served !WOW!  I am humbled. I have lived a life of greed, selfishness, pride. I have lived blind for so long. That verse is so touching. It is exactly everything that God is. He wants us to live through Him. Christ was always giving. Even on the cross He was giving. He was dying for US! He was dying for OUR SINS! That is amazing. That is more than amazing it is a miracle. Jesus is OUR miracle.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2

Romans 12:2 says it all right there. I have not always followed my own path in life. In certain situations I have been known to bend my beliefs to "fit in." This verse really spoke to me. I am definitely not perfect, but I can strive for perfection. I need to keep this verse etched in my heart. This world is cruel, and no one really cares for me the way my God does. Many times these people I have conformed to have been in and out of my life. I need to take heed. Focus on God. Remember to NEVER let anyone come between me and my principles. God has my best interests at heart. No one will ever love me the way He does. That is powerful.

As I close this obscenely long blog post I want to leave you with this beautiful song, Kylie and I sang this together tonight and it brought tears to my eyes! The message is the perfect closing to this post.

Lord, I Need You

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

-MATT MAHER

Copy and paste this link to hear this beautiful song!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuvfMDhTyMA

Take care and God Bless!

-Maria

No Resolutions Just Goals

Every woman I have talked to (that is married) have had their own fair share of struggles within their marriage. Whether it be financial, mind wandering, some sort of addiction etc. everyone has some sort of struggle. It is constant. What does NOT have to be constant is the miserable feeling you bring with marriage. Many folks let themselves drown. There isn't a way to swim above water, because the worst is just that the worst. There is no communication, no support, marriage has crumbled and failed. 

What if every woman treated their man with the utmost respect, like he is the head of the household, like his values and opinions matter? In short, like your husband is the king.. It doesn't mean us women go by the wayside and are "forgotten" or are "unimportant" or that we do "not matter." If our husbands are treated with respect and not just like they are an extra burden to us we could possibly help cut down the divorce rate. They would feel valued and fulfilled because they would feel appreciated and that their efforts aren't going unnoticed. 

I am definitely not the best remodel. I fail all the time. I break promises, huff and puff, get overwhelmed by seemingly pointless things that are out of my control. I do, however, know one thing. My husband should never, ever feel unwanted or alone because of me. 

Through the years I have made many "resolutions" that have been broken by February. This year I want something more. I don't want to make "resolutions" I want to make goals. I want to actually follow through with these goals. I want to see my friends more and be more involved with them. I want to laugh. A lot. I want to see my marriage last and not just in the same 'ol I am putting up with you way, but in the way where he comes first and everything else falls behind. I want to have a healthy relationship with food where I don't completely stop eating when experiencing severe response syndrome and don't overeat when I feel high levels of stress. I want to love me for me. I want to be a better wife and mother. I want to attend to the needs of all the people in my life more. Stop thinking about just myself and open my heart and arms to those around me when needed. I want to get our finances under control so we can live mostly debt free. I want to get a second car for our household. I want my relationship with God to stretch to the highest level it can possibly get. Where I am not just a fan, but I am a follower. I want to do studies on the Bible and learn more about my own faith. I want the girls to have that household where God and Jesus comes first. Always. I want to respond out of love and not anger. I want to get myself in check and under control too so that my family can be whole. 

The struggles in my life will continue. There will never be a perfect, but there will always be perfection to strive for. I have a lot of working on myself to do in 2015 and I am absolutely okay with it. I need to take one step at a time. Take that one leap of faith.