Thankful Post

Today I will list a few things I am thankful for, since Thanksgiving is almost upon us and I have yet to declare anything. 

1. My God. It is unbelievably mind blowing that no matter what sin I commit, no matter how many times I fail, His love for me is unwavering. I can't imagine the length in which He goes for us. Giving us HIS SON to die for me, my stupid sins, and my arrogance, my pride, my lies. It is crazy that no matter what I do He will always forgive. He is always there. Forever.

2. John--no matter how many arguments we get into (and they can be whoppers) he stays honest. Even though we've been together longer than most marriages I know he still surprises me. He is the hardest working man I know. He is, hands down, the best dad to our daughters. It doesn't matter who I talk too they are always in awe of his patience, gentleness, and love for them. He has never had any problems changing a diaper, or waking up for those midnight feedings. He is my partner in every big decision we make, he is the leader of our family and that is the way it should be. Sometimes, as hard headed as I am, I challenge him, and fight him, but at the end of the day he knows what is best for us. He has such a kind heart and isn't easily discouraged. He is a fighter and God gave him to me. I am beyond thankful for him, even when I act pretty crazy.  

3. Kylie Jade--my first born star and a star she is. If there is a stage you can bet she will be owning it. She is empathetic (like her daddy) my niece was crying last night because her grandpa died and Kylie Jade offered to share hers. She is head strong (like her mother) and is very sure of herself. She knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it and fail. She is my little gymnast who loves to flip and stretch. She takes pride in herself and is willing to fight for what she wants. She has always been independent (even when she was a baby). She loves to give hugs, act silly, and make pictures and stories for others. I never knew what wearing my heart outside my body felt like until she was born. She has definitely made me realize what unconditional love is. She gave me strength when I felt down, and she has given me hope that this world can be a better place. 

4. Madilyn Kate--my second little squishy. She has such a bright personality. Her smile lights up a room. She is hilarious. Her little voice is music to my ears. She is smart and funny and she is very sure of herself. She is very head strong (again from me) and goes after what she wants like there is no tomorrow. She shows much empathy and puts herself in her friends places a lot. She is a bright star in my dark sky. She brings me so much joy. She loves to cuddle, give high fives, read books and play games. Her heart is full of laughter and joy. She has been the best addition to our little family of four. 

5. I am thankful for my gymnastics family. We have been apart of the gymnastics world for over four years now. I absolutely love everyone there and they love and spoil my girls. I am thankful we found a place the girls could grow up with and feel special at. They all have a special place in my heart forever. 

6. I am very thankful for my house. After moving around a lot I think we have found a place we will stay for awhile. It is spacious enough for us and it already has so much love and memories here. I love it most around Christmas time when everything is decorated and lit up! 

7. I am thankful for my family. We all have our differences, but we mostly all come together in the worst of times. Life would be very dull without them. 

8. I am thankful for friends. When I am stressed out and having a bad day sending a text to my two best friends always makes me feel better! 

9. I am thankful for air conditioning when it is crazy hot, and heat when it is crazy cold. I definitely take it for granted, but it is appreciated. 

10. Books take me to another world and let's me escape my reality. I am thankful for the many worlds I have been in over the years! 

11. I am thankful for all those little things like chairs, tables, light, and many other things that are taken for granted every day. 

12. TV I am thankful there is an escape or "easy babysitter" on those days I am not feeling 100 percent. My girls get entertainment and I get quiet! 

13. My car. It has gone through a lot, but without it I could go nowhere. I am thankful it has needed minimal help in repairs and it is running.

14. Gas prices dropped! Hallelujah that is something to always be thankful for. 

15. My bed it gives me so much pleasure to get a good nights rest. 

There are so many things I am thankful for that I definitely can't list them all, but here are a few because I want those special people in my life to know that they are appreciated! 

Gymnastics Try Outs

My six year old is filled with confidence and bravery. As a young child she went out and showed her gymnastics talent to the best of her ability. She was filled with nerves, excitement, and little fear. Today was team try out day and I have to say Kylie Jade did wonderfully. Even though she isn't the most flexible, or landing her back hand spring as well as some of the others I was very proud of her for going out there and doing the best she could do. She landed her pull over and did a cartwheel on the beam as well as balanced completely across it with toes up. She curled her hand around the beam and held a hand stand with little support. I was very happy to see my girl doing what she loves to do. At the end of the try out I found out my six year old made the gymnastics team. She will start out at level 3. I am thrilled that my girl will be doing the thing she loves most. It is all she does at home, a lot of what she does at school and her spare time is spent in splits, hand stands, or practicing back hand springs.

I am a little nervous about this team thing, but I know this is completely Kylie Jade. Since the minute she stepped foot into Jills Gymnastics she has been at home. I am so excited to see where this next step takes her!

Love

Romeo said it best: "Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn."

When I look at young love I laugh. I know I was once there, but for some reason I always felt me and John were the exception. Whenever I see teenagers gushing with love and showing off engagement rings I often wonder how long that will last. I had many teachers telling me the same thing, constantly. I have, so far, proven those people wrong. After 11 years of being together I think it is safe to say we will make it to the end. I can't imagine my life being spent with anyone else. I guess that's what these teenagers think.

Much like Romeo and Juliet I felt that fleeting love that I think every teenager has at some point in their life.  That surge of hormones that is telling you to do the exact thing that you are not supposed to be doing. Edging closer to oblivion. The dare of it all,  the quick game of chicken. It is absolutely thrilling to someone who enjoys rebelling all too much.

I can remember when all that was on my mind was sex. It was a fun to play this game.  To see how far you could go without anyone knowing.  The thrill to keep our secrets a secret.  It was daring,  it was rebellious,  it was sneaky.

In order to pull off the crazy antics John and I did we had to be crafty.  Looking back on it all,  it was really daring.  I guess that's what made it so exciting.  I felt like I was in the play. Much like Romeo stepping into a foreign world of people who hated me for everything they thought I was.  I have never been those things.  I was a lost teen,  who turned into an adult that acts like she's got it together... When really I am falling apart.

I felt that my love could keep us together,  glue us to one another,  and that everything could be perfect.  All we needed was my lips to touch his.  Teenagers,  they are so blind,  and Romeo and Juliet are proof that love doesn't take you anywhere but death.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into,  didn't realize how truly hard it would be to juggle a family,  a husband and finding myself... I never did find myself.  I have found myself lost,  searching,  floating,  but never having completely landed.

Through the impossible years,  the fights,  the threats of divorce,  the simple waste of breath on words that will never be taken back.  I see it myself,  our young love,  it always somehow pulls through.  He is that boy and I am that girl.  Completely wasted on each other,  drunk with love.  It is poison to the heart,  but it feels so wonderful.  If only for a minute,  if only for a little bit.  Then, like Romeo and Juliet,  it will end.  It will just be another fairy tale,  another broken story,  another tragedy.

I Miss My Husband

It's the first night in a long time that I have been without my other half, my mate, my rock, my support. I came home to a house with no husband. It was strange. Like perhaps I didn't know where things belonged. I began my monotonous duties as a mother and thought, this would be so much easier if I had John here. The girls were running around wild as their usual selves, but knowing John wasn't going to be coming home tonight I felt a little drained, a little bored and a lot sad. The girls cried hunger and I was heading to fix dinner when I realized John had eaten all the eggs. Loading them up to take them to the grocery store I found myself dazed. I started driving the wrong way and ended up at Chick-fil-a, and the girls were stoked. I ordered food and felt awkward not asking John what we should bring him for dinner. He wouldn't be eating dinner with us tonight. I pushed on and continued motherly duties per the usual. 

I am so used to sharing EVERYTHING about my day with him that I haven't even realized how much I talk to him until he wasn't there. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. It hasn't even been a full night and I am tired, bored, and missing my best friend. There are things to say and no one to share them with. There is no one sitting next to me, no one to goof off with. I realized living my life without him wouldn't be a life at all. God brought him to me because we are perfect for each other.

I didn't realize how much weight he pulled in the nightly duties, the chores and everything else. I really do take advantage of how wonderful he is. I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. I know I am blessed beyond measure with John.

The kids are stirring, they are getting antsy, they are ready for bed. I will go enjoy my time with my beautiful ladies and pray that John is save, happy, and gets some much needed rest. 

Monday seems so far away.  

A Few Things I've Learned From Parenting A First Grader

It's that time of year again. The time of year where I will give you a list of things your adorable, sassy, insanely loud six year old girl will demand for school. 

1. Always bring sparkly pencils, they help her write better, they are pretty and they make her all around happy during the day when it gets a little gloomy. 

2. Reading can be fun, but if you make her sit down and read it will take her 400 hours to complete a sentence. I am not joking. 

3. When she gets home she doesn't want to do homework, talk, use the restroom, or play she wants snacks. Lots and lots of snacks. 

4. Getting invited to a birthday party is like a rite of passage. Fortunately everyone has to be invited in order to pass out invites at her school, she still thinks she is special for getting invited to said party. 

5. If she gets in a fight with her friend at school and gets in the car with a mad face and arms crossed. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask her what's wrong because she will take all her anger out on you and even after yelling about what happened it still will "not matter because YOU couldn't understand anyway!" 

6. If she gets in trouble at school the minute you pick her up she will be all sweet as pie and when you get the email she will say "oh yea that was nothing, it was an accident, I DIDN'T DO IT!" 

7. Nothing will ever be her fault. 

8. If you come to school to eat lunch with her she will be happy, but if you try and kiss her she will show her ever advancing ninja skills and block your kiss. 

9. Awaken her at the very last possible minute, when she wakes up she will either be so happy and chipper or it will be a constant battle of wills and it will have seemed Satan has overtaken her soul. 

10. If you forget her snack or water bottle, or lunch box you will never hear the end of it. "Remember that time YOU forgot...???"

11. Dressing girls will never get easier, tights, pants, shorts, skirts, jeans, this shirt paired with this shirt...ahhh too many possibilities. 

12. If she learns a new song and can remember the words to it you will have to listen to it every time you get in the car. Ear plugs may come in handy. 

13. Her best friend will be this person this week, but it will be someone different next week. 

14. Having a boyfriend is both "gross" and "cool" aim for gross, always aim for gross. 

15. If she tries to do splits, cartwheels, and handstands in class you will get an email asking that she keeps gymnastics at home. 

16. If her math facts aren't speedy she will blame the problem at all cost "well that problem is just stupid." 

17. Getting her to read sight words may be harder than pulling her teeth. 

18. Don't leave her back pack unzipped after checking her folder, my goodness the drama. 

19. Don't talk to her friends too much, they are hers and not yours for a reason. 

20. At the end of the day she will always be happy to come because you are her mommy and no matter what she needs your love, that stability and routine at the end of a long day of first grade!

Big first grader

First day of first grade

open house for first grade 

first grade picture